love will not betray, dismay or enslave you; it will set you free

2011-12-03T16:39:00.002+08:00

there comes a time when everything seems to fall apart and everyone seems to start screaming at you

but all you gotta do is block out the noise into peace and do everything like a routine from the start

because all these distraction will never be real until you believe it is

and all these hallucination will only drag you far from what you dream

so tell everyone off and don't be afraid to stand up on your feet

but for the moment step back and take a look

for the world does not consist of only me

you have other things much more important to attend to

so why not disappear from my sight before i slip off into my dream

sometimes people can be very unreasonable but you have to understand

you don't even have to understand you just have to acknowledge

that not everyone can be in glee

for everything that happened to them comes with a different reason

it's not over.

2011-11-09T09:29:00.003+08:00

okay first of all, i got to wake up. Os is not over yet i'm enjoying life. damn i ought to be thrown into Bedok Resevoir. hmm. well, i can't get started on anything actually. so what's the point of forcing stress into myself when i'm not stressed? - as quoted by my mother.

i mean, you gotta do what you gotta do. no one is supposed to control what you do and how or when or where. like how some people be stupid enough to be ordered around by their own mates. all i gotta say is, not cool bro! totally not cool.

so i got my first ever fixie yesterday. there's always a feeling of guilty pleasure whenever i buy something. like your parents don't allow you buy something but you buy it anyway. i quite pleased with it to be honest. it's my own money by the way. so say what you gonna say, i'll just take it as advice. it was kinda rush, yes i agree. but i've waited for weeks. well actually about two to three weeks. which is since before the start of Os. and promise made was that i'd get it after Os. hmm this is considered after Os for me. weehu.

k i'm going back to sleep before going out for 23:59 later.

left with three.

2011-11-04T22:46:00.002+08:00

hi. i'm back. currently i'm left with only three more papers for Os which are mother tongue, science paper 1 and biology paper 1. there's actually nothing much to study. so i can rather relax for now.

it hasn't been smooth-sailing in my life but i'll try to make the best out of it. minor problems have been complicating things at home but i will try not to make it affect my results.

actually, the papers have been rather manageable despite my ability to slack and not study hard. in my opinion, i studied quite hard for some papers. i really hope to just clear my Os once and for all and never see it again in my life. it's been more of a chore and burden but it affects our lives the most.

nonetheless, i'll be free and easy from now onward with the examinations well out of the way. in other words, it's time to enjoy!

2011-09-06T01:06:00.002+08:00

hey, listen. there's always that point of time in your life when you feel really down and just don't know what to do. but hold up. back up and take a good look. look at the picture. the big picture. see the path. see the journey that you've made. the journey that have made you this far. if it wasn't for you, you wouldn't be here in the first place. don't call yourself stupid, fat, ugly or loser. it's like saying God doesn't exist. and that's just wrong. you're made this way. there's a reason for all this. it's all been planned. there is someone for you. you're not going to die alone. unless you're fated to. but don't say that you're fated to die alone. it's predicting your future. and that's all in God's hands, not yours. so live your life. live your present. to the fullest. prepare for the future. just don't predict. don't expect. it'll lead to disappointment. and that's bad. it'll break you. it'll break your heart. you will cry. you will hate yourself. for expecting too much. don't expect. just do.

no. i'm tired. i'm sick and tired. of people. people who hate themselves. who blame themselves for everything. who hate their parents for being scolded. who scold their parents back. i'm sick and tired of listen to people's problems. i have mine. not that i don't want to listen. i just don't have time. don't have time for this nonsense. this nonsense that you're always a failure. you're not a failure. you never were. you just put it all in your head and convinced your own mind. but truth of the matter is you're not. you say you're fat. no, you're like a fucking bamboo. you're ugly. no, you're fucking adorable. you're short. no, fuck you're a HDB flat. you have the worse family. for fuck sake, your parents love you until you die. you have friendship problems. no, you made that problem up and convinced them that it's true. nobody will ever marry you. no, there's your fucking soulmate waiting for you. just live your fucking live like everybody else. keep smiling and put all these shit aside for the rest of your fucking life. it doesn't matter you're going to die anyway. you might want to live your life to the fullest. you do not want to miss out on awesome times with family. break the rules. fall in love. don't listen to your parents. run away from home. do illegal things. why don't you dare?

you see, society is now evil. and spoiled. i don't know what is going on with the world. all i know is that i have a happy life. all that's past just made me who i am. though i miss them much but it doesn't matter now. it didn't work out for a reason. no matter what the reason is, it's okay. new things happen everyday. and i thank God for waking me up everyday. i get a chance to repent. to change things. change people. change my life. make people smile. make people feel loved. i just admire the beauty of how this world works.

a yesterday i thought i'll never have.

2011-08-27T05:59:00.002+08:00

hey yo. i heard Hari Raya is in two days time? wow. how time flies. and it's only like yesterday i started fasting.

this Ramadan has been a blissful one and it eases pass me in a blink of an eye. i'm about to successfully complete another whole month of fast this year. thank God. but the fact that time flies isn't amusing to me. it just means every hour closer to O levels. and that's horrifying. i'm scared. Prelims started on Thursday, and to me it was not quite well done. i had time to complete all the papers but i just felt it wasn't my very best. oh well, lost time is never found. Maths Paper 1 the following day was quite a breeze. certain questions stumped me but i managed to recall and crack my brain to at least write something. confidence to pass, yes, but confidence to do extremely well is still a no despite having done thousand and one practice papers. it still wasn't enough.

so after the Advanced Examinations, students are going to enjoy four days of weekend due to the upcoming Presidential Election. wheeho. and that just means more time to study. no time for Hari Raya. sad huh. well, not for me. on Wednesday, went to break fast with a group of friends at Seoul Garden for the fun of it and bonding time; though i didn't really bond much. and yesterday night marks a very special day for me. i shall not disclose it publicly. wheeho. break fast with ASSIDUOUS at Puncak, Far East Plaza and i had the time of my life. looking forward to another awesome lepak session with them in the future.

you do crazy things in life. sometimes good, sometimes bad. but where's the fun without all these crazy things? you have one life, you either die trying or go for it. let there be mistakes, so you know it's a mistake. if you didn't try and didn't know it's a mistake, then you wouldn't have known it's a mistake in the first place. and that would leave in wonder if it's a mistake. sometimes even brings remorse. i've had many regrets but many of them are just happy memories. i've made so many mistakes i couldn't even remember some. but that makes me what i am now. i am happy. no, jubilant. i love my life as it is now and it won't be changing for a long time in the future.

so Prom Nite has been such a big fuss amongst the graduating classes. placing a name to a table can be a huge problem. some cause friendships to be distant, some even fight. i mean what, you cannot, touch wood, confirm a graduation out of the school yet. but whatever it is, all is done now and it's only Prom Nite. so, ultimately at the end of the day, they're still your friends and no matter what you still have to be with them. there's just no end to this.

study hard, study smart. play hard, play smart. plan time and start well, start right. k what rubbish. hahaha.

two is better than one.

2011-08-12T22:10:00.002+08:00

it's 12th August, which means i am into the 12th day of fasting. how was is that! it felt like only yesterday that Ramadan started. THANK GOD!

but 12th August also means 13 days to Prelims! and 70+ days to Os? damn. i really got to work my shit out and start revising. i bet the entire cohort says that but not working their butts, including me. where's our motivation?! teachers' are all getting stressed out instead of us.

haiyo. i wonder what is happening to the Singaporean kids nowadays. cheyyy.

uhm, k quick update. life = mundane.

by right, i shouldn't be seeing this page often anymore. it's time to focus on the books and papers and TYS and booklets and answer sheets and what not. mati la like that.

oh, and congrats to my beloved English teacher, Mrs Rupesh on the birth of a baby girl. we love you and please enjoy your maternity. ;)

when it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love,

2011-07-16T15:32:00.003+08:00

let's talk logic. i like logic.

because logically i am a normal person yet people say i'm not.

well, i have an ability to irritate people so perhaps that's what causing my abnormality.

anyway, i have been thinking and stressing myself so hard about making a choice whether to go to a polytechnic or a junior college. more than half the population of my class have already applied for DPA without knowing that their results come into play. i pray for the best for them. i thought i was the only weird one who hadn't apply for it but i was wrong. looks like there are many others who didn't apply. phew. bottom line is, i'm confused whether to take a stressful two year course or a relax three year course. i am now aiming for a two year course at a junior college not because i try too hard to be unique but i am going to guess it would help enlighten my parents, if you know what i mean.

in order for that to work, i have to start working hard now. it seems like i got lots of spare time to change blog designs and post a new post. obviously i have got not much homework this weekend so i get to enjoy a little. more than half the day is gone and i haven't even touch my homework. what a pity.

it really seems like i won't have anymore time to entertain this blog after today because i have got a pretty hectic schedule up ahead. there's Prelims EL Oral coming soon. oh, speaking of oral, i screwed up my 'O' level MT oral big time. first of all, the hall was cold and i was nervous which makes me tremble even worse. the look of the examiner is also another distraction from my thoughts and therefore i cannot think straight. the topic was not easy at all. looks like there's only Listening Comprehension left to salvage this coming Tuesday. moving on, after EL Oral soon will be Prelims. that's the most horrifying part. i have not started revision and i'm still being overjoyed that there's not a single Biology lesson this week. i should really start worrying instead. oh well.

June has been a pretty exciting month. now July is the one that's problematic. before that, i had my Passing Over Ceremony in school several weeks back. i was elated. the moment that every secondary four band member have been waiting for. i did not expect time to pass that quickly though. now my life is just a breeze. i heard that the band is going downhill from then on. i'm quite worried for them. what's going to happen if they disband? hope that will never happen.

ah, have i told you that the end of this month marks the start of fasting month? so excited for it. imagine being hungry and thirsty while doing Prelim papers. i can't wait to enjoy food that i haven't seen for months and drinks that are specially existent only during the fasting month. dope shit.

that is all for now. i got to start hopping to train for my standing broad jump. for fug i got a Bronze because of that when all my other stations have gotten a C and above. shit head jump.

wad in the world is up.

2011-06-19T19:16:00.002+08:00

finally. i'm a free man.

OP'us 2011 was definitely a blast. we blew the audiences away. i couldn't put into words how i felt throughout the entire process of preparing for this concert as well as the feeling when it was all over. two months ago, i had my SYF competition and it wasn't very impressive in terms of the result. and here i am, two months later, pulling off an awesome concert together with my fellow musicians and alumnus. we played nothing but music and i can really feel it through my body. tremors of awe just shook my body when the last three notes of Third Symphony 'The Tragic' Movement IV (Finale) was played. and there goes. four years in a Wind Orchestra is over. i never thought i could pull through. i even thought of quitting it in sec two. but i am standing stronger than ever and proud to say that i was a band member. i was from Orchid Park Wind Orchestra.

to be honest, concert day never felt like a concert day yesterday. but to be more honest, i started panicking a week before concert day because i know i couldn't play all the notes to tempo. i even thought of coming back to sectional everyday. in the end, i had no choice but to squeeze everything one day before the concert day itself. i was panic-stricken but it was great. i felt calm on the concert day. and it didn't feel like a concert. it felt like another rehearsal. and it was the and utmost superb rehearsal ever. i can tell anyone, that they have missed out so much of great music within the two hours. not to brag, but that's fact.

so i guess now all that's left to do for me and the sec fours is to relax and think about our studies. we would all eventually get use to not waking up early on Saturdays but for beginners, it is going to take awhile. i would feel odd going back home early on Wednesday and Friday and not sleeping early on Friday night to wake up on Saturday morning. but this is all memories. i would definitely visit the band some day. maybe when i am really free. but not right after i stepped down. that would just be awkward. to be honest, i can't wait to step down and pass over all the responsibility to the juniors. i've done my part for the year and it's their turn. i know everyone is feeling sad and reluctant to move on and so do i. but hey, you're not going to live forever. life has to go on. now the band without a conductor is just sad. the new batch going to take over the band has to do alot of work. and i really hope that they can do it proper. pray for the best.

and i napped like ten times today. it's called post-concert syndrome. damn i should really get up now.

nothing new.

2011-06-01T19:54:00.003+08:00

hi. it's 1st June. let's recap about May. hmm, i had my birthday(which was three days ago, more on that later), i sat for MT O level, i did Mid-year examinations, i played tons of soccer, i had lots of fun and i enjoyed myself. so another month down. which means getting nearer to 'O's. which also means i have to work extremely hard.

so what a way to start off June. got nagged by Mrs R early in the morning during her lesson about our sloppy attitude (more on that later). pffft.

#1: my birthday

I'M SIXTEEN BABY. whee~ so jyeah. three days ago, it was 29th May. it was a Sunday, so celebrated with my family by having an early and expensive dinner at Vintage delicafe - awesome place go check it out. so on Saturday, went out early in the morning with A & A to Orchard to hunt for my birthday present - a helicopter! a toy one, of course. after shopping, got An's early birthday present as well, went back to school for rehearsal. after Sat and Sun, on Mon, i got a Fred Perry wallet from one of my classmate -.- it was awesome and i'm using it now but i don't really think it was necessary. yesterday, received the second most awesome gift of all - first one being the helicopter of course - a scrapbook and Famous Anus cookies from my awesome best friends, or girl friends rather. so that concludes. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR MY AWESOME BIRTHDAY PRESENTS. oh wait, i'm not finished. the week before on Sat 21st, my aunts brought me to The Denim Store by Queen Couture to buy me my requested gift. Red Wing Shoes. went into the shop and tried almost all the models to see which looks best on me. everyone that went in stared in disbelief. hahaha. #fail so got my $428 shoe. so ecstatic. after that my dad got me a pair of long compression tights for my legs. it's called SKINS, check them out. it's most awesome if you're a sports person. my bro got me a new pair of cleats. superb.

#2: MT O level

so it was one day after my birthday, 30th May. i'm still in my celebrating-my-birthday mood. it totally does not feel like O levels. it felt like i was doing MYE. i don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing but all i know is that i have no more MT for the rest of the year until August. i shall wait patiently for August. but still, NO MORE MT!! :D

#3: extended curriculum

now that holidays are here and the term just ended, extended curriculum is also here. i thought it was going to be exciting. but i thought wrong. it was school. and you know what that feels, like school! i'm so not ready for school. i'm in holiday mood. to be honest, i shouldn't be. but i am! damn this is bad. and it's everyday that there's lesson! oh fml right now.

#4: letting go.

hi this may be unrelated to all the above but i just got to pen this down.

it's been ten months or so since last year. (if you don't know what happen, you're not my friend, but check out the August 2010 posts). and i guess i haven't really moved on. i know i should have but there's a sparkle in me that still hasn't die off. i've been trying to get rid of this bad thing but facing you every day makes it very difficult! i suppose what they say about exes being friends is not going to happen. we may hang out but there's always this awkwardness. just like Ted and Robin in How I Met Your Mother(HIMYM), they were together for a year and broke up but decided to become friends. after a year, there's still awkwardness between them because they used to do things together and now they can't. i mean, of course we can hang out and be friends but there's always a possibility of old feelings surfacing again. i know how she's hanging on to that guy and i'm feeling very confused right now. i tried to hit on another girl but there's this feeling of fear, fear of her jealousy if i get with another girl. now, every girl i see is like super attractive. i'm as confused as a white kid thinking he's a black kid. i'm as confused as a dog thinking he's a horse.

i'm just fucking confused. and there's not much i can do about it. unless i be honest but that does not seem to work out well last time. so ten months and nothing much changed. i guess that's just love ain't it. fuck this shit!

to conclude, that's my summary of May. and now i gotta go back to studying Bio.

who in the right mind give tests during holidays?! gosh.

2011-05-22T12:11:00.001+08:00

would you say shoes are not important or unnecessary?

well, that's what my mom said.

of course i know a $428 shoe is unnecessary but it was a birthday gift.

i mean if people ask what you really want then you'd be honest what.

then i chose my birthday gift and now they complain.

it's not even your money. you're not even sharing the cost!

people are atrocious.

fuck this world.

why can't this feeling just fade away,

2011-05-16T22:43:00.003+08:00

hi. gossips are interesting. only if you're talking about it and not the one being talked about. i suppose it has been a 'thing' ever since we were young. growing up around gossips and rumours are pretty much the way of life in teenagers. it is not fine for other people to talk about you, no matter good or bad. but as long as you give them something to talk about, they will talk about you. it is very difficult to please anyone to be honest. to be even more honest, you don't have to bring up the topic of gossip yourself. you don't have to act in a very obvious way that you give others a topic to talk about and an impression that you need help. everyone has got problems but not everyone's problems are your problems and not all your problems are everyone's problems. i'd rather keep your problems to yourself. stay straight.

i guess inside jokes are really used for entertainment within a group of friends you know, or rather friends that know the joke, not friends who have no idea what you're talking about. in that case, the friend that does not know the joke might end up feeling fucked because of the hostility being exposed. but whatever makes them happy, you shall just stay quiet again. so i guess there's nothing much for you to do outside except for keeping quiet right. i mean, even if you open your perfectly clean and saint mouth other people would still get hurt. so what's the point.

hi. i have not gone to school for almost four days going to five now. i quit school.

cheyyy fake.

truth be told, mid-year examinations just ended last Friday officially. and it's been a joy ride for me. let's see.

i went out on Friday to catch a movie. actually i went out on Monday to catch a movie again, even before papers were over. damn i'm the man. went out with parents on Saturday. two soccer matches on Sunday, exhausted at the end of the day. went out with awesome people today. prolly staying at home the whole day tomorrow. today is marking day for my school and tomorrow is Vesak day for the entire nation. i suppose luck is already on my side to have sucha damn long break. awesome.

so it'll be about half a year or less to the main examinations. i am definitely looking forward to get my results back because i am for sure going to flunk it all very badly. i have already told my mother to be prepared. she nagged, but i gave the reason of lazy and main exam is at the end of the year. i shall do my best to study very hard for prelims and the main exam at the end of the year.

did you know that kite flying is for bored people?

cheyyy fake.

it's for awesome people. i went kite flying today. it was fun. nothing more. just fun. because the people were fun. and the atmosphere was great(noticed i used great instead of fun). the wind speed at Marina Barrage was tremendously fast. i almost flew with the kite.

cheyyy fake.

but it was fun and with the shiok wind tops it all off. went to Marina Square's Secret Recipe for dinner after that. awesome food. wow. met mua mother for dinner, again! i got KOI only instead.

k i think i am going to enjoy my Vesak day. a last and final day to really enjoy my heart out before setting back to school mode and making myself busy with nothing. #sadlife

something good can work,

2011-05-08T23:31:00.002+08:00

i have something to ask. what do you call something that you want but can't have?

k news flash. i have a room. jyeah. big achievement for me. you see, living in a big family makes this house of mine damn small and squeezy. so after my aunt move out, my two bros got a room each, leaving me outside. so after my grandparents move out to stay with my aunt so that they can look after my aunt's newborns and my new cousins, i moved in because my grandparents would be there for an unknown period of time and it would definitely be very long. and jyeah, they're twins. one boy, one girl. haha. how fortunate.

so anyways, for the whole weekend i've been ransacking the room and moving in my stuff. it took two days to clear half the junk found in the room. at least i can sleep on queen size now. hahaha! i haven't touched my physics at all! omg. what's wrong with me.

as a matter of fact, i haven't touch any books at all ever since the start of exam. not something to be proud of but it's fact. to be honest, i am quite proud of it. haha. it's just the MYE. i know it's the wrong mindset but whatever for waste energy on something that's not gonna determine your real future into poly. k sorry don't be influenced by me.

what's more interesting is that my life is just sucky. k i shall try to catch up on my sleep. dude that's totally not gonna happen.

to the basement people,

2011-05-01T18:13:00.003+08:00

HI semua. apa khabar? how are you? ni hao ma?

wtf. rubbish. hahaha. k in the midst of exams, i can still play soccer. i feel like there's nothing on me. no stress and totally carefree. anyhow, the advanced papers are out of my way for now. there's still like a thousand and one papers to sit through. speaking of which, Tuesday's Bio and Maths P1. hope that i can fully utilize the free Monday given. wheehoo.

no i'm no stress at all. as weird as it seems but it's true. or maybe there's a little worry. only a little. i wonder what's going on in my brain. hay-wired ah.

k i shall start to try and study. it's never too late, they say. buiazxc.

if it's okay, i would like to say happy Sunday!

2011-04-24T18:40:00.002+08:00

why do we or maybe just my family go to Malaysia, and eat excessively? it makes me question the fact that we all get amazingly continuously hungry when going to Malaysia, especially KL. maybe our mysterious stomachs have the mindset that can change in different countries. point is, i ate a lot over the weekend. and it's all good food. awesome.

with that said, it means that my work is not completely done. true enough although i managed to complete Maths P1 in the car on the roadtrip there. BIG ACHIEVEMENT.

k i shall go out and eat dinner again. guess the symptom is not over yet.

you fooled me once with your eyes now honey. you fooled me twice with your lies.

2011-04-23T01:23:00.002+08:00

woohoo. can you believe this? in the midst of preparing for MYE, i'm taking the long weekend as an opportunity to go for a short holiday. k nothing to be excited about actually.

i have never been busy and worn out like this in my entire life ever. fug this week has been as hectic like hell. ughhh life of graduating student. soooo wtf. but i'm still superfuggging excited for the road trip, technically later on. woohoo!

k uhhh. goonite.

let's all work hard for MYE and achieve as best as we can. MYE only mah. haven't even Prelim. chillax ah broz. k goodluck.

onward and persevere eh.

PARTY ROCK IS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHTTT

2011-04-10T08:24:00.003+08:00

via Tumblr

'nuff said.

love, lies, trust, hate and twenty-eleven.

2011-04-07T21:04:00.003+08:00

it has been extremely painful for this past week and the week before. rehearsals and school is just going to get tougher and it's not waiting on anyone. sacrificial sleep time, revision time and study time have to be given away. it's 2011 and year of the SYF, clashed with my O levels. it may seems far away but the fact of the matter is that i don't even have time anymore. it's time flying everyday and in 5 days it's SYF. after that, it'll just zoom ahead and out-pace me and soon enough it's my exams. it won't be soon before long i know - i just hope it'll be soon enough for me to buck up and open my eyes.

i'm not going to let any of these crap life problems get in my way and hinder my life. i just hate it when it's only tiny matter and just someone has to make a pandemic about it. no, i'm not going to be your friend, i'm not going to be your boy, i'm not going to be your bestfriend, i'm not going to be your bro, i'm not going to be your leader, i'm not going to be your schoolmate, i'm not going to be your classmate. i'm just going to be another human being with intent to learn and get my O level certificate. so get away from me and stay far.

i've never been so confused. i need to get my mind set straight and thinking again. fickle, is the word.

it will be soon before my life can become a vicious cycle.

2011-03-31T19:09:00.002+08:00

dear life,

why you so unfair.

i know it's usually like that but this is more than unfair. it's already one-sided.

resilience. lucky i've learnt of what this is.

there's definitely better things i can do than give up, quit and walk away.

so life, i want you to know that whatever you try to do, make things complicated, or fuck me up, i'll just try my best to brush you off my shoulders and move on. it's how i roll.

you don't come and try to make things difficult than it already is.

i need to get things done. there's no time for distractions already.

lots of love,

your possessor

2011-03-31T19:04:00.002+08:00

SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.SORRY.

2011-03-30T22:13:00.002+08:00

EH FUCK YOU LA BITCH. YOUR ATTITUDE'S THE CAUSE OF EACH AND EVERY PROBLEM IN YOUR LIFE AND ANYONE AROUND YOU. GET YOURSELF TOGETHER AND PACK UP THAT ATTITUDE OF YOURS PROPERLY BEFORE TALKING TO OTHERS. YOU TALK LIKE FUCK THEN WANT TO TELL OTHERS WHAT TO DO. FUCK OFF.

2011-03-16T13:19:00.002+08:00

the thought of you no longer sends chill down my spine. safe to say, you no longer matter to me anymore.
yay or nay.

2011-03-14T17:38:00.003+08:00

"time will tell if we're going to be together, or not"

still, you have no right to be mad at me. you broke my heart.

2011-03-11T18:30:00.003+08:00

i'm as choppy as an uncalmed sea.
it's as though this week hadn't been bad enough for me. i get crap. yeah, i know i'm supposedly to be responsible but i can't help it thinking of being hated upon.

it isn't all my problems. you, being specifically chosen to do that major task, are supposed to be stern and not friends to drag friends along. ya, friends can drag friends along, but you're of higher rank and given every right to scold and push them. but for fuck, you came to me, pissed, give me your fuck face when i did nothing wrong, and gave me the reason that my friends won't listen to you and i didn't tell them to come. for crying out loud, you are the fucking highest status. everyone ought to look up to you, but i guess that has proved to be wrong because you are not doing your job properly. you push everything to me, when all that's supposed to be done by you. ya, blame it on the friendship status, but as a friends there's only that much i can do to push them. they wouldn't listen to me as a ranked official, what else can i do. you are supposed to come into play.
imagine if i told your friends to stop playing basketball but they won't listen to me and i came to you to vent my anger, get pissed and give you the fuck face. wouldn't that definitely get you on the rage. fuck that.

as if that wasn't bad enough, today's worst. again, friends. it's not that i didn't want to. i wanted to, i want to come for each and everytime i have but my friends just seem to have a different mind. they would purposely delay time and disallow me to go earlier than them. they want to stick together. if i ever went without them, they'd be all critisim and gossiping and hating on me. do you know how that feels. have you ever been in that situation. i naturally fear rejection. that's just how i am. that is why i am doing my best to not get rejected. or maybe not so much. for fuck. this is bad.

i defend my friends, i get crap from another party. when i defend that party, my friends give me crap. remember the saying life is never fair; this is a perfect example. i give up pleasing both sides. i give up being a perfect example. i give up making you happy. i give up making myself feel good. i give up doing what others tell me to do. i want me to be happy. not all you other humans. what's the use when all i get is more rubbish and not even a single appreciation. all you know is to declare that you've done more than i do when the actual fact is that you've done nothing compared to my efforts.

i'm sorry for not coming. i feel guilty. i know i'm wrong. i'm so sorry. extremely, very sorry. from the bottom of my heart. i don't know what can compensate for this. i'm sorry.

bad things aside, today's the Sports Carnival and also the last day of school. handball was amazing. tiring though. wonder how the class did in the other sports. and this year's class tee is as blue as my butt. most of the sec four and five class have blue tees also. year of the blues.

so that's how my last day of the term ended. and i'm getting ready for term break with a packed schedule. i dread school.

and i'm beginning to wonder if everything and everyone is getting unreasonable. still, i'm sorry.

2011-03-06T10:14:00.002+08:00

nine weeks have passed since 3rd January 2011. 'Happy New Year' don't seem to apply anymore. my tests and results have been atrocious. my parents' have been advising me and nagging me to buck up and what not. all i know but i can't seem to do. i just can't seem to get into the mood and don't really have that urgency despite the fact that i only have less than six months to the major national exam. the mere thought of it send chills down my spine. i'm so worried+anxious+scared about it. negative thoughts flood. oh damn. story of my life.

next week is the final week of term one. and holidays don't really matter already. all that matters is that we are fully prepared for the exams in October, which seems pretty far away but on the actual fact, it isn't. i am definitely not on the confident level to say that i'll pass the exam, or not at least with flying colours or with my expected grade. i am so afraid, i don't know why. thinking of all my seniors and my two brothers with their results and having a reasonably good life now makes me wonder how they get through all these stress. maybe they are just naturally smart, or maybe they really work their ass off. i don't know what to do.

SYF is getting nearer. practice and rehearsals have been slightly improving, or so i thought. i hope we will get what we aimed for but not lower than our usual standard. i can't imagine life after stepping down from band. it'll be study all the minute i have. insane.

all i gotta say is that life hasn't been on the easy road for me, and for most of the secondary four students i guess. we get homework everyday, crap from most of our teachers and stress from CCA and parents. not even talking aboout the problems we create in our heads. just too much to handle. maybe i haven't been as stressed yet, because i haven't been looking at the big picture. i've been taking things so easily and ignoring many of the important things. let's change.

i wanna start being crazy like some of my bandmates, whom goes home early from school as and when they can in order to start mugging 'till the break of dawn. i wanna have that kind of crazy life. i don't care what people say but i just wanna do well in the Os. dammit.
onward and persevere?

2011-03-01T20:47:00.002+08:00

DON'T INCLUDE ME IN EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO,
I MIGHT JUST RUIN THE WHOLE OF IT.

mind (struck) (love) blown

2011-02-28T20:10:00.003+08:00

it seems as though everyone is getting injured physically. i call it the sprain ankle week.

and everyone that's not injured physically gets hurt emotionally. what is this.

i can't be sad anymore. or at least not for the rest of my life. that's my #marchwish

February's been a dick. and for dick, it's quite small. there's more bad than good things that's

happened in this month. i guess it's all over now that March is here to bring up all the good

out of the bad. i wish each and every single soul i know will be cheered up by this new

month.

Cheers.

2011-02-27T15:49:00.006+08:00

the only good of being happy is that you know no one else can make you sad.

i just had a soccer match in the morning. obtained two freakishly tiny but extremely painful blisters on both foot. achievement unlocked. now i'm suffering a terrible headache due to insufficient sleep.

what a life to live.

2011-02-25T23:46:00.002+08:00

i wonder if you ever felt this way. being in this position of having two choose between two things close to you.

which would you choose. every decision you make is important, but everything happens for a reason as well. not all the things that happened are coincidental. not everything was because of fate. it is sometimes mere impulse of our brains, to make that very decision which could be life-changing. and i suppose everyone has done that.

well, to be said is much easier than done. i'm sure everyone's mouth and tongues can lash all the words that could be oh-so glittering and awesome or what not but it all voice down to one thing; your actions. if your mouth can say a thing but your actions the total opposite, i'd rather you seal your mouth and change your actions before opening that black hole of yours again. i know everyone makes mistakes but some are truly unforgiving.

you make your decisions. you choose your future. you do what you think is right. you do things for the benefit of your life, of your comfort. you do things without thinking of the consequences. i don't wanna be seen as the scapegoat, or the wanna-be, or the busybody, but how are we all going to progress towards our goal with you and all of your friends or gang with same attitude behaving like this. i'm extremely tired and upset at this staged childish behavior. just because of one test, you skip. yes i know tests are important but you could always study after practice or even on Sunday, you can bring notes along. problem is, you restrict yourself to such limited time. you expose yourself to too much joy and fun you are going to have with your family. i know it's called Family Day but i'm sure your parents can excuse you for studying and bringing your notes along out with you. what is this.

i'm sick and tired of all this crap. disappointing.

2011-02-24T12:22:00.002+08:00

AND I'M SPIRALING DOWN THE HIERARCHY OF INFAMOUS

i don't know how to feel anymore.
everyone seems to be out and about.
everybody's changing.
the whole world is changing.

2011-02-21T20:57:00.000+08:00

SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

RECOVERY

2011-02-19T19:59:00.002+08:00

go ahead and tell what you want others to know, because deep down inside you know it's not true.

woohoo. i've been sick for the week but managed to rest at home for only a day when my MC clearly states it's two days. unfortunate ah, because i decided to be in the class photo of the year for4S3 since it's the last class photo together. uh huh. i'm that cool.

well, not really.

recently, i guess stress overwhelmed me. maybe there's too much to do with so little time given. but the fact that i'm taking Os this year, i know it's going to be tough. maybe my time management isn't helping me at all. every single day there's always work to do. even the weekends which were there for rest have been preoccupied with loads of work for us to complete. inconvenient much. nevertheless, onward and persevere.

Why is it so hard to let go of you, even though all you do is ignore me and talk to everyone else. There's a dying flame in me that wants you but couldn't take you in because in my mind there's a devil saying you've got another man. WHAT IS THIS.

2011-02-16T18:06:00.000+08:00

I WOULDN'T CALL YOU HUMAN AT ALL, IF YOUR FRIENDS AREN'T FIRST ON YOUR LIST.

there's a good and bad to it

2011-02-06T21:39:00.002+08:00

secrets;

knowing a lot may help you ease obstacles in life

knowing too much just kills you inside

it happens when you see the secret being played out right before your own eyes

then again, it's up to your conscience if you'd like to believe it

scapegoat

2011-02-04T22:25:00.003+08:00

i hate these kind of people living on the face of the earth. these kind of hypocrites. i know i shouldn't be angry at him. he used to be this nice person that i knew. but now he has changed. changed along with his new friends. i know he still acts normal with me, but within i know i can partially see hatred, or rather just dislikeness in him about me. he was usually quiet back then. now, he comments on everything he can. not that i'm too sensitive or something, but each and every human beings also have feelings right. ya, call me mat rep, or trendy wanker or whatever type of shit names you have in your head but you can never change me. go ahead and influence your other junior friends to dislike me and gossip about me. they seem much cooler than me, more common things you have with them and maybe better friends that you make with them. it's been four years or so, but it's all these little incidents that adds up to one big chunk. for long, i've been noticing. it's not until recent times you made new friends with the junior batch. you seem to have forgotten your root friends. you got a new girl best friend or maybe even that girl is your girlfriend, then you push your friends aside. you got a new best friend, you push your other normal friends aside. what kind of human are you? you dislike me, but yet you call me and ask me out with your new junior best friend, perhaps to make you two look better so that you two will not look gay, and maybe even to humiliate me. i don't know but i really feel like the scapegoat here. i don't know what else to think. i have run out of positivity in you. ya, go ahead and read this post and say i'm jealous but the fact is, who cares right. you know you are rich, doesn't give you the right to look down on other people, destroy other's feelings and hopes. you're a hypocrite. and now, you take my girl best friend and make her dislike me? what is this i don't even. you make other's believe all your lies and influence them to think towards your beliefs. propaganda at play. you can be a real inhumane son of a bitch. i don't know what else to do but keep up with your play. i'm the bad guy and you're the main character.

what did i do to deserve this.

CNY 2011

2011-02-02T17:12:00.002+08:00

WEDNESDAY;

half-day of school today. performance was rather dull. and the whole picture just doesn't make sense because the mood was definitely not there.

so has been the week. it was a very short week. and lacking excitement for me. ya, got back quite a few tests with very disappointing results. well, i definitely need to buck up but there's like a heavy bone in my arm that can't move. lazy bone. oh dyme.

i think life's much easier when you're happy, ey?
no one would ask if you're okay and digging the truth out.
no one would ask if they are the problems or cause.
no one would ask if you need help or assistance in life.
only thing they would ask is if you're okay because you're being too happy, and the only reason they're asking is because they are jealous of your happiness and wished you were them.

how i regard life so easily.

maybe you don't matter to me anymore.

2011-01-28T21:18:00.001+08:00

just as i thought i was care-free, with no problems, i was reminded of you and the tiniest part of my heart fell apart.

jealousy; a disease that kills you from within

2011-01-24T23:22:00.002+08:00

sometimes, you need to understand that you just have to take some time off to thoroughly think about things that has happened in your life and things that haven't occur yet. maybe it's now time for me to reorganize my life since it's a crucial year for me and it has already been the fourth week of new year, 2011. i shall start afresh. maybe i'm tired of chasing you already. maybe i should let you go. i believe you won't no longer need me in your life. i was happy you were part of my life and that shall remain as happy memories. but that's that. nothing more. you bring happiness, as well as misery. so i should start becoming less attached to you as before. done. friends; i don't know what to say. i feel like i'm drifting apart from everyone. yes, they're there in front of my eyes but i usually feel that they're not fully there with their heart and soul. well, most of them have changed. some have become more mature, some have just turned worst hooligans. some got a special friend until even the short time spend with the old friend could be neglected. i wonder what's happening to the world. is it really going to end soon. all the signs are showing. it's nerve-wrecking. sometimes, i question myself, if my existence really mean a thing. not that i'm selfish, but i wonder if my friends are true friends. it's as though you got a new toy to play with and you throw the old toys aside. i feel so lost.

k, i shan't go any further. i should update less often.

baby, please don't go

2011-01-17T21:57:00.005+08:00

alright. this blog is collecting dust. time to blow it away.

seconday four definitely has been hectic. i can hardly find time for leisure and really rest or relax. it's all work, work, study, study, revise, revise. well, ultimately we're all working for a very good result. but it's getting on my nerves already. i've been drained out of energy everyday. remedials, supplementary and CCA the whole week, everyday after school. haven't been eating properly also. and haven't had a good apetite lately. my mum's worried. heh. i have no idea what's happening to me. perhaps it's just fatigue.

and now that's i've found time, which is very rare and not everyday, i thought it'd be good to update. so i guess i'll not be updating quite often. maybe once a month? or if i do, it'll be short ones. i am definitely sleep deprived. but this week has been rather kind so far. not as much work to do, but it also means i've need to do more revision. oh damn. i'm just too lazy.

amidst this hectic schedule and busy life of a secondary four student, i found it hard to cope with anything else besides studies. i usually feel worn-out, moodless, gloomy and sometimes just miserable. i push everyone aside, but i take everyone in the next day. i feel like i'm having menopause already. oh damn. but honestly, i feel very, very, extremely left out. k, i shan't elaborate.

time for me to grab some shut-eye.

k bye.

shit happens, but life has to go on.

Happy 2011.

2011-01-01T06:32:00.002+08:00

it was like deja vu all over again.

reached Raffles Place at 6.45pm and walked through MBS, to Esplanade to Marina Square. ate MacD's and met the rest at around 9pm. walked back to MBS slowly in the crowded place with our packed MacD's. reached MBS at around 10pm. slot in an empty slot near one of the entrance and waited for the show to start. while waiting, we got into a little trouble with one person. k, inside joke. it was an 8 minutes display of gunpowders and wonderful technicolor. it was normal but really beautiful. after it ended, we exited to the other side and 'lepak' our asses. blasted music, and had a mini 'street party' of our own. really funny and fun. wild and crazy. awesome. 'till about 3.45am, we went to look for a bus called NR1. it took eternity for it to come so we decided to flag down a cab. unfortunately, no cab was available at that point of time. now this is where it began. so we walked all the way to the end of MBS, trying to think that there would be more cabs. no, we were wrong. so walked further down to MBFC. still no cabs. walk to Raffles Bay Hotel, still no cabs in sight. so we walked all the way round back to Esplanade, almost back to our starting point. waited for a cab for forever and none showed up in green. in the end, we took the fucking same bus that we could have waited a few minutes more and could have reached home hours earlier. so we board the bus thinking it would go like zoom and poof but no, it went like a hell lot of fucking slow. i don't really blame myself. i was following the crowd, afraid of what others might say. i should have took my own path. so took this NR something to Sembawang and trained back to Khatib. honestly, this sounds stupid like fuck. reached home at 6.30am exactly. i've been out for 12 hours. lucky me this happens once a year, if not i'll be screwed.

by the way, i'm still pissed. i don't know why. honest. but i just am. i'm sorry. to confess, i bring all my thoughts back and replaced it with one word, fuck-yourself. i'm really pissed off at the way you act. the way you think you are all. i want this new year to be a better one for you. perhaps it would, without me in it. so i should like disconnect myself from you. k, this is me; angsty.

alright. 2010 has passed. 2011 has arrived. soon, i can't write 3S3 as my class anymore, i have to write 4S3. i can't write 2010, but instead, 2011.
anyways, i want to wrap up the whole of 2010, be it good or bad, but i can say it's all in the past and it's all of last year's memories. let's start this chapter right. a whole new chapter, with new everything.

dear 2011, please be nice to me.

k first, i should start off the year with a good sleep and later good shower then good breakfast.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

shit happens, but life has to go on.

you're that kite that flew too high and i can't seem to catch you back.

2010-12-26T00:30:00.004+08:00

last week of school holidays. and i'm scared and stressed. too afraid that i can't finish my homework and all other stuff on time.

Monday - Wednesday Kuala Lumpur Trip
20122010
k, day one in Malaysia was great. been walking aroung in my TOMS and i think it has expanded a little. so sad! i don't want it to spoil so easily. OH WELL! left home at about 6.30am and reached KL at about 11am. before that, ate breakfast along the way. went to eat at my aunt's Nasi Lemak stall immediately after we reached. after lunch, went to shop for the whole day. nothing much as compared to Singapore's things! the sale just started today so not much difference on the pricing yet, but most of the sales are half-priced! oh so tempting. in the end, i only bought one Cotton On shorts which costs RM49. beauty!

21122010
k, second day in Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur. well, not technically in Kuala Lumpur though. stayed at my cousin's house for the night at Ampang. she keeps a golden python as a pet! wth. but it's beautiful and i touched a real snake! nice. had breakfast at around 10.30am. then headed off to visit my aunt who's going to India on Thursday. she's rich. heh. after that, had lunch with her and my other cousin at Plaza Shah Alam at Nyonya Kitchen. used the wi-fi like crazy! haha. then headed back to main city, Kuala Lumpur to check out my Dr. Denim and thus, went back to Pavilion for a second round. after walking too much, sat down at Starbucks Coffee for awhile. i had Starbucks Mocha Frappecino! like finally. and ate the Chocolate Tuxedo as well. saw my bro's gf while eating there. and used the wi-fi also! walked back to Sungei Wang to get the car but saw F.O.S. and entered it. we saw it the day before but didn't really went in and shop. so i went in and saw this huge rack of humour tee. was like crazy when i saw the price. 3 for RM45. i quickly took three t-shirts and tried them. paid and went off. awesome! then went for dinner at Damansara at Thai Base. the food was good and the price was reasonable. recommended, if you know how to navigate the way that is. they provided free wi-fi for all to use! got to chat awhile. heh. being all tired and lazy, dragged myself to Danau Kota at midnight to see this night market that sells a lot of fake goods. all were too good to be true. haha. nothing much to see, nothing much to shop. headed back home to my another aunt's house for the night. it's near Batu Caves! awesome.

22122010
woke up at 8.30am and went for breakfast at my aunt's Nasi Lemak Tanglin stall. it's so popular! awesome. so crowded. but good food. has Nasi Lemak and Fried Kway Teow. after breakfast, immediately headed off out of Kuala Lumpur for Melaka/Malacca. walked around in the town, mostly Jonker Walk/Street for awhile. ate the authentic chendol there and bought bracelets. awesome stuff. immediately drove off to Singapore in order to make in time for my bro's dental appointment. reached Singapore at about 6.50pm.

alrighty. after going for the short getaway, got home with lots of homework undone and many other things to consider doing.

so on Thursday, went out to do homework at library. after that, walked around in AMK for KOI and went home at around 7pm.

then on Friday, went out again. went to town with A and A. got to watched Gulliver's Travel. the show is damn hilarious! Jack Black is the man la seriously. before movie, changed my Vans Chukka to another size as it was too big for me. then went to Maestro Guitars at SCAPE to send A's guitar for servicing. after that ate lunch at Puncak at Far East Plaza. then headed back to Cineleisure for the 5.45pm show. after movie, went to City Hall, walked to Esplanade, Helix bridge and Marina Bay Sands. sat at MBS, trying to catch a breather and A and A tried to sneak-a-peek at people changing in the hotel rooms! HAHAHA. went home at around 10pm. it's an awesome Christmas Eve!

on Christmas itself, woke up and did homework. then at 3pm, went to Springfield Sec. Sch. for a friendly against TH. played halfway, then rained heavily. lucky enough for us, it was astro-turf, so no matter the weather, the match is still playable. after the match, immediately went home and rest. super shagged now.

k, just finished chem and maths paper one, technically yesterday. but yeah. heh. k bye.

OH AND MERRY CHRISTMAS + HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE! HAVE AN AWESOME 2011. :D

-Yaz

the Sunday before Christmas.

2010-12-19T21:55:00.002+08:00

wow. so much for homework day. it turns out to be a catastrophe. i didn't even touch my homework! argh. woke up quite early, as compared to other days. but mother had plans already and no choice but to follow her. went out to visit my cousin who just gave birth to a baby girl. extremely adorable. then went home for awhile. went out again to NEX at Serangoon to walk about and see what's there. honestly, it was a total waste of time. ate late lunch at Wendy's and went home. and now i have totally no mood to do anything since tomorrow i'll be heading out of Singapore already. i should totally bring my homework along and try to squeeze as much as i can into the limited time i'm already having. DAMN.

k, Sunday's proved unproductive. maybe my brain works during weekdays. screwed.

see you in three days time starting from tomorrow, humans.

shit TOTALLY happens but life has to go on.

sexciting.

2010-12-18T16:31:00.003+08:00

k, yesterday was the section outing as planned. all were present except for QiFang, whom had to go visit at hospital. so, there's seven of us. trained all the way down to Marina Bay, thinking of going to Marina Barrage. before we went out, it rained but stopped. then by the time we reached Marina Bay, it started to rain again. maybe it's just fated that we weren't supposed to go picnic. oh well. then changed to wet-weather plan. trained back to City Hall, ate at Marina Square and walked around abit. half of them left, leaving four of us behind at Marina Square. walked, shopped a ring, took photos and went home. it was awesome. although not much were done but at least we got together after a very long time and got to catch up alot! overall, fun.

now, it's 18 December 2010, Saturday. my homework's not touched and i'm wondering when i'm going to do it.

~edit

i'm back from shopping with mother. bought a few stuff and now i'm broke again. waiting for people to pay me back! gah. i hope today's spendings was worth it. if not, i'll be deeply haert-broken. went to Central @ Clake Quay to roam about. then went off to Cineleisure @ Orchard. walked until our legs were jello and then trained home. didn't do much. just wanted to see what's the update in town. like as if i didn't know. haha. saw a few OP people in town too. some with couple, some with gay friends. all juniors. heh. abit weird and awkward though. but nvm.

k bye. tomorrow shall be homework day. and finish 3/4 of it. then Monday to Thursday will be overseas. FINALLY! then i shall shop again.

oh, i'm getting my Manhattan Portage messenger very soon! WOOHOO! aunt is back.

well, shit happens and life has to go on.

i love seeing you. but i hate saying goodbye to you.

2010-12-16T22:10:00.002+08:00

k, time for MEGA post.

let's start with the past.

i've said this week to be study week. ya, so much for that. been going out almost everyday and my homework's still not done up to 85% level. well, at least i'm not going out of the country already. or so i thought. and to add to that misery, my dad said no to having care of pet rabbits. i was heart-broken. i was like, wtf x1000. why not?!?!? he was like, oh you have Os next year and better concentrate on studies blahblahblah. as if that wasn't enough, he added, and rabbits are difficult to maintain, later sick who wanna bring to the vet, who wanna clean the cage, who wanna feed, who wanna entertain it and stuff. i was like -.- totally giving him the fuckface all the way.

that happened when we were heading home from USS though. it was fun and awesome and all those good/great describing words you could use to describe it. but seriously though, it's like the most amazing thing being there. the rides were more than awesome! especially The Mummy Ride. me and my dad even went back for a second round, dragging my mother along after convincing her that it wasn't scary. after the ride, both of us were sort of scolded for tricking her. heh. but it was a good experience. after playing all the rides, we went to walk about abit as it was almost 7pm and closing time already. we reached there late of course. we planned to arrive by 12pm or so but ended up reaching there at almost 3pm. wth. but nonetheless, we had plenty of fun, the three of us. didn't shop barely anything at all 'cos according to my parents, every single thing being sold there is too expensive. ya, might as well sit at home eat, sleep, repeat. the only souvenir i brought home was the long bottle that comes along with a lanyard, chocolates and the ride photo. wtf much?

that was two days ago, Tuesday. today, i went out again. watched Narnia Part 3 with Sijia, Minghui, Nazihah and Amalina. i wonder why they're all girls. but nevermind that. caught the 2.15pm show and waited for Naz who was about 10 mins late. heh. so half departed into the theater first to get a headstart. after the movie, ate at Banquet and went off to Orchard. checked out TOMS at Takashimaya S.C./Ngee Ann City or God knows what the name of that place is. walked around to survey my Dr Denim at ION's Very Wooonderland and my Vans Chukka at Cineleisure's Leftfoot. Oh all so tempting. Can't wait for aunts to come back and bring me shopping for Christmas gifts in exchange of my belated birthday presents! heh. HAPPY KID!

k, that's not so MEGA after-all.

tomorrow's Friday, and i'm going out again. this time with my section. prolly going to Marina Barrage to picnic/fly kite. oh well, what else can we do.

i think i'm done now. i'm like so tired after walking around so much. need sleep! gah.

well, shit happens and life has to go on.

11122010

2010-12-11T22:12:00.002+08:00

woah. 3 more weeks to the end of holidays, and start of a brand new year. the most stressful year of any secondary school student!

i'm afraid. so are most of the other students. there's this uncertainty in me. i just hope i can work hard enough to get through safely, once and without having to repeat.

first of all, my homework is not even done! and holidays are ending already. next week has got to be study week! argh. tomorrow shall be the last day i'm going out already, since my house will be quite empty as my granparents are going overseas. so i can have peace at home! teehee.

second of all, CCA has been all over me. and now that we're having break, i should better concentrate on the books. but i'm forever worried about orientation. afraid it'll not be done in time, it'll not be perfect, and most afraid of the whole world looking down on us, looking down on me! gah. all these wishful thinking.

eh wait. 14 more days to Christmas. i want something! heh. heard my aunt will be buying for me something big, not literally though, 'cos she felt guilty when he bought for my bro an iTouch for his birthday, and will be giving money to my other bro for his birthday as well. oh well! just my luck. i hope it's something i really want! something like Fred Perry, or Vans, or iTouch, or something simple like a new watch. heh.

oh freak. hearing all my friends going overseas this holiday just make me jealous. but i'm fine in Singapore. NOT! are you kidding me?! SINGAPORE IS LIKE HELL! omg. lucky i'm going out for a visit for 4 days later in the month. at least there's a break of having the longest stay in Singapore.

i've been thinking alot. i guess i should just probably give up on you. since you've been all well with your life. i don't know how you feel anymore. i'm tired of hoping for something that's never going to happen. i hate myself for believing in something non-existent.
damn. look how far we've gone.

oh well, i better get back to watching this soccer match or i'll miss everything.

shit happens, and life has to go on.

Same mistake.

2010-12-03T23:20:00.002+08:00

i'm not hoping for a second chance

i'm screaming at the top of my voice

give me reason, but don't give me choice

'cos i'll just make the same mistake again.

Last Band rehearsal.

2010-12-03T19:10:00.002+08:00

wow. i've never been so angry since a long time. i'm so angry till i shiver. i can't stand this. but i can't help myself. i'm so fucking pissed. just pissed. at every single mistake. every single thing that they can't do it up to my expectations. it's not that difficult though. all you got to do is have self-discipline. you just got to control yourself. does it mean that i'm too kind if i didn't punish you guys and could just step all over my head? or am i being too fierce and unreasonable if i punish all the time without reason? i have no other methods of disciplining you guys. all i could ever do now is get you guys to buck up in order for all the hardwork put in this project to be a success. i want all of this to work. i want all of us to be a success. i'm sick and tired of hearing all the complaints from other people looking down on us as if we're trash.

well, i'm sorry for those who i've treated badly for today. i guess the devil has taken over me. but seriously, i think it was worth. although they weren't really scolded, i still can see some were better. but some were just damn stuck up. i don't understand why. either they're lazy, or has attitude problem, or just want to show us that they're better than us, or they can't bear to see our face. i mean if you got a problem, there's no harm done by honestly saying it out, rather than gossip and talk about it behind the person's back. yes, we all make mistakes. if you're really that perfect, and no one else can do better than you, might as well you stay at home and do nothing rather than annoy everyone around you.

this world is weird. it's living hell.

i wish someone could buy me a Kinder Joy right now. i need to get rid of this devil.

well, shit happens and life has to go on.

i don't know why but i'm still not over you

2010-11-24T19:59:00.002+08:00

i get it. i'm the bad guy, and the bad guy NEVER gets the girl. - Megamind

i think the quote suits me best.

and this blog is left abandoned by the owner and thus, it's not updated frequently. hey, i'm busy with CCA and stuff, so excuse me for abit. besides, no one ever reads this. there's not even one new tag. damn, i feel like closing it down but then again, i will have no one to confide in. k, i shall continue.

holidays been a brat. i think most of it have been spent carelessly with CCA and with awesome friends. just yesterday, i went out with A and A. it was unplanned for but we went to catch Megamind, which was freakin' hilarious, and played pool, rented a chamber and fooseball at E2MAX. i hadn't had so much fun in a day for quite some time already, and that was a good stress reliever.

i've said it too many times before, but somehow i'm still not doing it. no, i'm not moving on. it seems as though you're still stuck in me somehow. i don't know why but my heart sinks when you talk about other guys, or when you don't include me in your conversations, or when you don't even look at me. i'm still going to sit here and wait for you no matter how long it takes.

when i grow up, i want to be a superhero. i'll be called YOURMAN.

shit happens, and life has to go on.

it's a TUESDAY!

2010-11-16T15:17:00.003+08:00

zomg. i just realised my weekend had ended so quickly and i didn't notice until now.

damn. but it was fun. more fun than when i was in it. Band Camp 2010 was awesome. except the fact that i didn't had enough sleep and had to stone through the day. i stoned during breakfast, when doing drills, during rehearsal, during telematch, during dinner and during the night trail. my eyes could close anytime! give me a pillow and instant sleep. yes, i was that exhausted.

it started off quite well actually. it was a normal Saturday for the band members, where there's rehearsal and tutoring. then had footdrills and ate dinner, which kinda suck. they showered and watched movie i guess. i went out with my family for dinner and send off my 2nd bro to Taiwan for his army training. then i came back just in time for the bbq. not bad at all! i had lots of fun playing Truth or Dare. heh. :D

then woke up the next day feeling all worn out with only 3 hours of sleep coz most of us slept at 3am. super tired already. then had to do morning exercise and eat breakfast. then had footdrills which i stoned through all! had rehearsal and i almost slept. really cannot tahan. but i managed to pull through. then came telematch time. it was very interesting, but too bad i can't play it coz i was the runner. damn, i miss the games. but took photos of it. still waiting for it to be uploaded. after the games, ate dinner which still sucked and had night trail. that's the most interesting part of the camp la, followed by bbq. heh. the games were all so fun! and i still hadn't played it coz i had to run around also, and take photos. damn, i miss all of the games. but it was scary to walk around in the dark, dark school. by the end of night trail, i had no/little energy left. but, i managed to do something crazy with the guys. we just had to do it coz it might be our last band camp and life's no fun without doing stupid things.

so, we climbed out of the school, went to 7-11 to buy food, quickly ate then climbed back in. HAHA. we were all very worried and stressed if we're caught, but nothing happened. wee. we were full with NICE food and instant sleep when we hit the sleeping bags. damn tired already! the last day was most tiring out of all. woke up, ate breakfast, rehearsed till 12pm, sight-read set pieces by Mr. Satoshi Yagisawa, which is similar to Prelude, but a little different and both pieces were relatively easy i guess. break camp at 1pm and waited for 3pm to come by. played basketball while waiting. damn, i could never suck at sports more. then went home, changed and quickly went back to MacD's for meeting. and now i'm here.

slept for fourteen hours already. i just lied down in my bed at 9pm last night then i woke up at 5am i think. i went back to sleep and woke up at 9.30am. went back to sleep again and finally woke up at 11.30am. dayum! it's the best sleep in my life. that's what you get when you don't have enough sleep.

damn, i missed everything i usually do/watch on weekends. play soccer, watch soccer, eat tau huey, sleep early, shower with Ginvera and sleep with by bolster. HAHA! k, lame.

time flies when you're having fun. how true can that be? now i have about one month of holidays left, i guess. and my homework is not touched. plus, there's band projects to do. damn, too many things to do, but too little time. and now it's already 3.48pm on a Tuesday. so fast?!?!?!?! kanasai.

well, shit happens and life has to go on.

dayum!

2010-11-09T20:21:00.002+08:00

i can be in love, but i just don't know.

i cycled a freaking 33.13km today. all for the sake of trying out the new road tires. from khatib, to sembawang, to woodlands, to admiralty, to sembawang, to yishun, to lower seletar then to home. zomg. ikr. i'm awesome.

k, i'm super tired ttm and i just need sleep. tomorrow is going to be quite eventful, i hope.
shit happens, and life has to go on.

school holidays.

2010-11-08T21:38:00.002+08:00

let's pretend i even have friends to call them my friends, to begin with.

it's been rather boring since the start of the holidays.

extended curriculum for the secondary threes were fair. it wasn't too bad actually. and so today is the last day of extended curriculum for Bio students. i heard some other classes still have lessons. HAH! i pity them.

then again, it's the holidays. so i guess the lessons were much of a waste because all of us are on holiday mood and were not paying attention at all.

then there's co-curricular activity. it has pretty much filled most of my holiday schedule already. it doesn't matter to me. at least it ain't too hectic as the previous holiday. but it's depressing to be left alone, managing the band on my own. it's kind of, messy. i mean, there were three of us, each doing own and different parts. but now, there's one, doing all three alone. ain't that messy? yeah, i miss them already. oh, please let this week pass quickly.

however, there's a few interesting upcoming events that i might look forward to though. say, class chalet, band camp, Sunway Lagoon, new year countdown. heh. how i wish my life was always this easy-going. damn, next year is the stressful year for students who attend secondary school and promoted to secondary four express.

this year's passing way to fast. i don't even have time to sit down, relax and think! oh well. i guess i have to catch up to the world then.

you know what? there's always one moment in your life where you had done something really dumb that when you look back at it, you realise it was a good thing. i mean, you treated someone badly/coldly, or maybe being frank and direct, it could actually teach that person a lesson. i realised that life's too short to regret. although sometimes you hate yourself for doing something you can't reverse. but you will feel good about it the next day, or when you looked from the positive side of things. no no. i'm not talking about myself. i'm talking to myself, but i'm telling myself that someone has taught me a valuable lesson about falling in love.

everyone's been telling me it's okay, i should move on and stuff. i chose to believe otherwise. maybe i'm wrong. but maybe i don't care anymore now. i want to be me again. i miss being me. i wasn't me when i met you. no, you didn't change me. i changed me. i want to change me again. i shall try not to concern you in my life anymore. it's okay if you have to go away. like everyone else will say, there are many fishes, crabs and prawns in the sea/ocean. but, if you choose to seek the passage back to me, there's always that one button on your phone to press. i'll always be willing.

oh i forgot to remind myself that i was ecstatic when i got my new Slurplife bag and my The Flash t-shirt! that one day shopping with my mom nearly cost me a fortune! lucky my mom volunteered to sponsor my bag! heh. i love my ever changing life! it's sooooo awesoommeeeeee.

i just realised i like to write essay long ass posts and many people don't like to read it. but it's fun to read! especially my blog. k, i shall try to keep it short next time. and tag me. seems lifeless.

shit happens and life has to go on. 'till we meet again. as if anybody cares.

I GAVE YOU ALL I HAD AND YOU THREW IT DOWN THE THRASH.

2010-10-31T08:15:00.001+08:00

i'm disappointed. really, really, very disappointed.

i wish i didn't had started this shit.

all i could do now is pick myself up, and face the truth of reality.

i'm sorry, we're sorry.

you're forgiven, i forgive you.

let's forget all these.

and be normal friends again.

20.10.2010

2010-10-20T23:40:00.002+08:00

nothing special happens on this very special occasion that happens only once in a lifetime. i'm depressed.

this feeling of jealousy overwhelms me at the speed of light which i can't take control of and it doesn't seem to be slowing down. i can't help but think too much. and i hate myself for doing just that because i know someday, it could end me up in a position real bad that i really do not want to be in. i realised i'm being too complacent. i should back off. however, backing off doesn't really solve the problem either. now i'm stuck. i have absolutely no idea what to do. probably, i should wash my hands off such matter. i have a feeling that's impossible too. can someone explain to me this mixed feeling of anxiety, anger, hate, sad, happy, love, jealousy and disappointment all in one? i can't seem to set my mind straight and thinking again because all that's left inside was you.

why has it always have to be the guys? girls, please take initiative. as much as we want to be the gentlemen, you girls play a crucially important part in the guys' life. it's really not always up to the guys, you know. the guys also want to feel loved back by the girls because the guys are the ones who usually give love to the girls, and somehow the guys feel that they're being used and taken advantage of. i don't know how much you think this whole story is true, but pending that i've heard both side of the story before, i think it's very true and real and quite common. i've heard many such stories before and i often feel that the girls are at fault. not to point fingers though, but every party of that relationship deserves to feel loved at any one point of time.

well, i don't.

thank God for the good life

2010-10-18T21:49:00.002+08:00

i want to swap lives with a millionaire and cut the crap of studying already. i'm sick of it, and so is everyone at school. but apparently we can't cut the crap. we just have to endure the pain and see the reward later in our lives when we're working.

got back results today. the most terrible way to start the first day of the week. that's not the worst part. the worst part is when they have the Discipline Committee check our appearance. so much for checking NA and NT classes only. the whole Disc. Comm checked the entire level. super wtf. cheat my feelings. then i got caught for tapered pants. TELL ME HOW THE FUCK DO YOU UNTAPER PANTS?! what a douchebag.

actually results were fine so far. hadn't failed any. just that i did badly and most of them weren't flying colours. kinda expected though. i didn't really study. didn't bother to. just hope went i get back the report slip, it'll all be joy and laughter. nothing can bring me down.

i have a fucking pathetic life

2010-10-17T23:05:00.001+08:00

i didn't know it was WHAT THE FUCK day today.

hence, i felt like shit throughout.

but soccer in the morning kinda made my day.

the rest was crap.

well, shit happens and life has to go on.

tomorrow is Monday and i don't feel like going to school at all.

i'm getting pissed by the moment now.

2010-10-14T23:52:00.002+08:00

PHEW! now i'm officially exam-free. though i know i won't do well AT ALL. i mean, i didn't really sat down and study despite ample time given. gah. don't blame me, i was too busy! with sleep and soccer that is. :O

back to earth. now that exams are over, i can have my normal life back! yay-ness.

and that means: band, soccer, eat, sleep. *repeat process till satisfied*

i need to catch up with my friends and the outside world, as soon as possible.

i've been down with flu for the past few days but it seems that i'm getting better already, not that anyone cares. surprisingly, soccer and swimming were the cure to that flu. ain't that a bitch.

talking about no one cares, i feel like my life is invisible. as though no one actually notice me, or appreciate my existence. and that's super annoying. it gets on my nerves more than it makes me sad. this feeling, one word: fuck-you-bitch.

yeah, i don't know what's happening to my life right now. it's like it was only yesterday i finished PSLE examinations and before i knew it, next year i'm seconday four! zomg, that's super fast. i must had alot of fun during my years in secondary school coz they say, time flies when you're having fun! k, lame.

then now i'm in this mid-life crisis trying to figure out my future i hold in my hands with my study results when i don't even study for EOY! damn, life's a bitch. i just wish i could slow down the clock or rewind. oh, that's wishful thinking.

well, shit happens and life has to go on.

i actually appreciate how my life is right now. i mean, i have a cute girlfriend, a wonderful family and awesome friends. what more do i have to ask for?

talking about friends, really had lots of fun today with the guys to 'celebrate' post-exam. we played like four solid hours of Internet gaming, ALMOST watched a movie but we decided that was too much of a gay activity. in the end, they came over to my house and played their lungs out on the PS3. we still have a pool date though.

tomorrow is another round of going round town to look for shoes. be it sports shoes or fashion shoes, i don't really care. i want to enjoy myself. anyone want to teman/accompany/pei me? not like anyone cares.

yesterday, went over to Stephen's condominium to play soccer and unexpectedly went for a dip in the pool also. note to self: never go into the pool after exercise. reason: it cause cramps. yeah, that's what happened to me. all the tired muscles got cramped the moment i dipped into the pool. thus, i have no mood to swim or do anything else. besides, i was thinking too much about someone. argh. nevertheless, i thoroughly enjoyed my Wednesday afternoon!

anyways, have you ever felt so irritated by your parents or siblings sometimes, that you might wanna stab them through the heart? yeah, i'm feeling that now. so frustrated. you came home late with dinner and your dad's waiting and he's late for work coz he's waiting for his food. i mean, the queue it fucking long and the waiting time was like fucking forever. next time go cook your own food then! ccb.

omg time check: 12.39AM

wow. it's Friday. last day of the week. awesome much? i love exam period. it feels too short to be true. ya right... the results shall say it all!

k, i think i'm too sleepy and super tired to think of anything else to write. or rather i can't stop thinking of you. freak. show. dammit. \fo shizzle/

well, shit happens and life has to go on.

k, bye. goonite.

BITCH=beautiful individual to consider having

2010-10-06T13:46:00.002+08:00

you're my bitch. and yeah, i love you.

it's funny how girls tend to get jealous easily and overprotective and all, over a small matter.
i mean, do they ever think of how we the guys feel? everytime they get close to a guy, or a guy they liked before, it always breaks my heart to see that one person i love so much walk out with another guy that's not me. call me ego, or whatever names possible, but i long to be with that girl.

and what's the saddest part? all they could do is tell their best friend how they feel about it.
oh come on. i mean, for a relationship to work, we all must make it work together. be honest. be truthful. they them how you really feel. maybe they will appreciate it. if they don't, then you're with the wrong person.

it is also childish to think that the relationship won't work before even getting into it! wtf.
honestly, to think that sitting back, relax and let nature take it's course is morally wrong.
i used to believed that. but now i realised that no, to get a successful relationship, we have
to work for it. just like in our studies, we have to work hard and study to pass. it's never fair to guys whom work their ass off to make it work.

keeping in silence and ignoring each other won't make things better. if it does, you're inhumane. because keeping quiet won't let anyone know how you feel inside. we're not mind readers.

anyway, today is the beginning of a dark passage for me. yes, it's End-of-year examinations. well, to start it off, i had SS & Maths P1 today. i gotta say, it's was not as difficult as i thought.

in other words, i'm dead!

so yeah. i guess i won't be updating this blog for as long as i could resist it. i just can't wait for normal life to return after all this darkness has fade.

k, bye. i want to go and sleep.

to everyone else taking those examinations, GOODLUCK. ;D

oh i'm such a gleek.

2010-09-24T22:57:00.004+08:00

dear life, you've been well. thank you and keep up the good work.

life in school, has been terrible. more terrible than anything else.

for the past weeks, i've been buried underneath school work and all those papers preparing me for end-of-year examinations. it was kinda awesome but it was tiring as hell!

first of all, i didn't had much rest on sunday coz i simply had to play soccer in the morning when i only had three hours of sleep on that same sunday early morning. then, i procrastinated until dusk and still hadn't had my homework complete.

so, i went to school on monday morning feeling dead beat. slithered through somehow. then had a math test on tuesday, which i failed it miserably. k, not so miserable after seeing the results. twelve over twenty-five. just half mark to pass but there's no question to squeeze out from coz i didn't do the rest of it. kinda proud of it though. then came wednesday, which was kinda disappointing coz there's no p.e. but it was kinda slack coz there's no cca and a few free periods. yesterday was a blast. finally had the chance to play soccer after playing a not-so-interesting game on sunday. i vow for it to be the last coz exams are nearing. and the bio teacher didn't come so all the bio students were more than delighted. they were literally jumping for joy, including me i guess. then today, went to visit cikgu's house at night. it was awesome, with some super awesome friends. kinda wasted though, that i missed yesterday's raya session with guys. my phone went dead and they can't reach me.

so yeah. my whole week was pretty much not interesting. i was literally dead everyday. but managed to survive till now.

oh. and glee is awesome. have been catching up, since i'm kinda slow. so left with nine episodes of the first season. and the new season is already out. awesome! shall ask my bro to pass all to me!

i realised one person won't make much difference. but what happens to the 'one for all, all for one' norm? yeah, so my batt went flat and my phone went dead so you can't contact me. i was kinda disappointed, sad and angry for leaving me out. but it was truly entirely my fault. i was supposed to be at home, waiting for your call, getting ready to go out. but instead i went to play soccer and rested in school and suddenly my phone went dead. it still wasn't entirely my fault that my phone suddenly went dead. well, what's over is over and glad that you and your friends had fun and enjoyed yourselves. how i wish i could turn the clock.

is it normal for people to feel shy around the person they like? and what's the difference between like and love? and all these questions and so much more can't be answered simply by typing in google. because i don't understand and i need that one person to be a perfect example. and that's why, i need you. i can't promise if i won't break your heart, or hurt your feelings, or make you regret, but i shall try to be the best that i am. because you fell for who i am, and not for who i am not. and i lied. i don't like you. i love you.

you can't live up to everyone's expectations. but you can live up to yours.

extreme sunday.

2010-09-12T22:23:00.002+08:00

today is 'break day' from the raya celebration and visiting. super shagged anyway. my grandma is still going visiting. wow. a-maze-ing. (from Grown Ups) HAHA.

managed to squeeze out time to do homework. have been procrastinating for the whole day. went to the airport to send off the other grandma and aunt whose going back to Paris. (she actually lives there!). yeah, she's that awesome.

moving on, i think i can soon buy an iTouch! but i guess i should invest in that money instead of buying some cheapskate gadget. i've got to admit, it's kinda cool though. you know they say, too much Apple products can make you insane. that's sooooo true! HAHA.

yes, i'm happy+sad+worried+disappointed.

k, bye.

I Need You.

2010-09-12T00:12:00.001+08:00

I know its not your fault,

but I’m a locked door.

Anytime I’m a mess by someone before

and I wish that I, I could find a key

to unlock all the things that you want us to be.

Let me open up and start again,

But there’s a safe around my heart.

I don’t know how to let you in,

and that’s what keeps us apart.

And that’s why I need time.

I said I need you,

I need you to understand.

Day One.

2010-09-10T21:43:00.002+08:00

yes, so i woke at around six-forty in the morning to prepare for the morning prayers. it's a usual ceremony we do every morning of raya, to pray and be thankful to God. and we also seek forgiveness from our elders and everyone else related. ya, it's kind of a new beginning but it's not the Islamic new year please!

so, after the prayer ceremony, went back to grandmother's house to wait for Friday prayer. but my bro and i got bored so we decided to drop by Singapore Expo for the Adidas sale for awhile. it's kind of a five minutes drive from my granny's house. so, we got one and a half hours to take a look.

we didn't expect such a huge sale so we thought it'd be chop-chop. but we were wrong. it was kinda mega and the queue took about 20 minutes before you can enter! so we patiently wait. finally got in and walked abit for ten minutes from which i got a shoe and bro got his soccer stuff. jubilant. nuff said.

after that shopping, went to Friday prayer then went to visit two houses before heading home. arrived home only to find the house packed with people like sardines and it's super humid in there! and i haven't slept from morning! soon after, the crowd cleared and poof, here i am. trying to stay cool, relax and take a breath.

this is some cool shiznit! watched Grown Ups for the second time. super awesome and simply hilarious.

k, bye. share some love will ya?

Hari Raya.

2010-09-10T00:28:00.003+08:00

from tomorrow onwards, i'm gonna start eating like a pig! who's with me? :D

i'm super happy, with the fact that today is Hari Raya already and i can eat all i want! on top of that, i can has money! :P just kidding.

it's still kind of sad though, that the fasting month is over. i bet i'm gonna feel awkward eating breakfast in the morning.

and yes, i'm happier now. i have no reason why but i just am. well, that's a good thing right?

spring cleaning's been tiring though. and i got a new haircut! i look like Adam Lambert/Marouane Chamakh. yeah. still looks ugly though but who cares!

looks like i gotta go back to clean the house.

let's see how this raya goes later. ;D

up butt coconut. up your butt with a coconut!

oh, and Selamat Hari Raya to everyone out there!!

08/09/10

2010-09-08T22:34:00.006+08:00

YAYYYY! TWO MORE DAYS TO HARI RAYA! AND TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY OF THE FASTING MONTH!!!!! kind of sad though. :(

partly because there's been this argument between my parents and i have no fucking idea what seems to be the problem. must be money. WTF. FML TTM.

yeah, so kind of half-hearted to greet the festive season. half happy, half sad. maybe celebrating without my mom. no idea why. so fucking stressed about this!! gah.

should i let it pass? my own problems are too small to be concerned with compared to THIS. i simply can't sit and wait for a miracle to happen, but i can't be a busybody and do anything either. i'm fucking confused.

but why only this happens nearing the festive season? i mean, there's always way before or way after! but during? damn. my worse fucking nightmare!

well, shit happens and life has to go on. i guess i'll have to live day by day. someone hold me tight.

i thought something unforgettable is going to happen today. but i guess i was wrong again.

p.s. this is my blog. so i guess this is where all my thought goes eh? i don't care if anyone cares, but it'd be nice to know. don't hate me for who i am, hate me for who i'm not. so, continue reading my blog if you want to hear stories of my life. i don't really care much about what others think of me. i just wanna live.

2010-09-07T10:24:00.007+08:00

have you ever felt so rejected in life that you just want to kill yourself? i mean, seeing the person you like not feeling the same and goes away with another? yeah, that's how i feel now. how i wish all of this wasn't true and it was all a dream but it doesn't seem to be that way. once, i gave up. but to think again, i shall hang on for awhile more. i kept waiting and waiting everyday for something to happen but everyday seem to pass empty. and then i start to wonder, why do i even like you? why does this happen? why do i feel this way? why and why and why but i can't seem to find the perfect reason. probably you're just not bothered with me anymore, and maybe i should start doing that too. i mean, there's no point waiting if nothing is ever going to happen right? i kept thinking what would happen if i confess and how you'd react. all my crazy imaginations ain't never going come true, although i wish it did. so, you're this one girl i've fallen in love with. and you know i like you but i just can't seem to confess. i've been wanting to ask you but i'm waiting for the right time. but the more i wait, the more i believe you're not waiting for me anymore. i understand if you're still attached with your obsession and i'm not angry about that. i just want the truth. i know you're a little confused and mixed about who. i'm ready now. i'm waiting for the truth, even though it may hurt, but i'm willing to face the fact. yes, i still want you no matter how you look, how you behave, what's your personality. the only thing that counts is your heart. all you got to do is listen close enough and your heart will provide the answer. i don't want you to regret. i just want you to be happy.

after thinking and writing so much about you, i can't think of anything else. you're all that's on my mind and will always be on my mind. how i wish saying 'i love you' was that simple.

no, think it through.

life's short. so are you.

2010-09-06T11:50:00.003+08:00

life is filled with needs and wants. there's always more wants than needs. and all that you've wanted may not be granted sometimes. but if you're determined to get it, you will work hard for it. and then it will slowly become a need. but then for a need, you may need it at first, but you may come to realize that it's actually a want because you only need it for a short period of time. well, my point is, don't lie to yourself about what you want and what you need because whatever you wish for may not always come true. and that's the truth in life.

and i'm saying this because i'm confused if you're a need or a want.

jyeah. Sunday was awesome. went to watch Step Up 3. in my opinion, it wasn't that awesome like super awesome. i still think Step Up 2 is better. yeah, but it was still nice and cool and all. i bet there's going to be Step Up 4 or something. i hope not.

and i'm getting bored.

shit happens, and life has to go on.when will you be mine?

i just love you. no questions asked.

2010-09-05T13:33:00.002+08:00

today's a cold Sunday. it's rained since in the middle of the night. and i hope there's something fun for me to do today.

well, it hasn't been a great start to September and the holidays. i must say, yesterday was quite memorable. nah. shall keep it undisclosed.

so yeah. it's been 26 days of fasting now. wow, time flies.

apart from that, it's three weeks to EOY.
and months before 2011.

ain't that just too fast? i was only about to enjoy 2010.

well, shit happens and life has to go on.

A Lonely September.

2010-09-03T21:11:00.002+08:00

I'm sittin' here all by myself

just tryin' to think of something to do.

Tryin' to think of something, anything

just to keep me from thinking of you.

But you know it's not working out

'cause you're all that's on my mind.

One thought of you is all it takes

to leave the rest of the world behind

I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself.

that you're not the one for me.

But the more I think, the less I believe it

and the more I want you here with me.

You know the holidays are coming up

I don't want to spend them alone.

so much for holidays. not even in the holiday mood.

2010-09-03T20:59:00.003+08:00

times flies when you're having LOADS of fun.

2010-09-01T10:25:00.002+08:00

so, past monday and tuesday and it's already mid-week, wednesday. awesome much!

nothing much really happened on monday. i went to school totally shagged and hopes that the day would just go by quickly. lessons were pretty much interesting because i didn't had to stay in class for english. and the others just flowed by smoothly, with nothing much productive from each. after school, had the final rehearsal for teachers' day performance for the orchestra. and so one day passed so quickly.

then comes tuesday. it's the day i've been looking forward to. reached school at six-thirty in the wee morning sharp. put down my bass and shirt, went down to the underground bandroom to warm-up and rehearse. waited in the hall for about twenty-five minutes before we started off the concert. after that was done in the blink of an eye, rushed to keep the string bass then rushed back to get ready for ASSIDUOUS' item. waited and waited for item after item and it was finally our turn. went out pretty well, except that the crowd honestly ain't hyper at all. boring! as much as we enjoyed performing, we hope the others enjoyed our performance.

went back to my primary school for awhile to see how much it had changed. it isn't much of a surprise to see the same old thing which you left from three years ago and still remain the same, only with abit of decoration added. more importantly, your friends have changed! well, i saw some of them last year so it isn't very shocking as well.

after which i went down to Sticky for some sticky sweet only to be greeted by a shop of Sticky filled with empty display boxes. every single thing ran out of stock! WTF. they were making some new stocks and luckily bought some. and so another day passed so quickly.

i had a great time yesterday, with ASSIDUOUS, and all of my friends. we were crazy and i really love how we click.

and i'm here, still wondering how to spend my wednesday. prolly, i should just start studying for end of year examinations. that's too much of a dream, ain't it? i shall make it happen, despite the fact that i'm still kinda stoned from the lack of sleep.
for everything that happens, there's a reason behind it. and you're the reason i fell in love again.

(L)ove in the air.

2010-08-29T07:35:00.003+08:00

i wish i, could do better by you,

cause that's what you deserve.

you sacrifice, so much of your whole life,

in order for this to work.

while i'm off chasing my dreams,

sailing around the world.

please know that i'm yours to keep,

my beautiful girl.

good friday. literally.

2010-08-27T23:41:00.007+08:00

there's always that one point in your life where you just can't seem to think straight. every single thing seems to bother you and everything seems wrong. you tend to go literally crazy thinking about things that don't even concern you. and though life isn't always the way you planned it, the alternative way is usually the better ones. i mean, you may want to love that person, but when you let go, sometimes things will just get better. i'm tired of waiting. just let me know when you're ready.

this week has been rather tiring. rehearsals after rehearsals, homework after homework. and day after day, i get weaker and weaker. in class, i always think of the weekends. and during weekends, i wish for it to be longer. oh gosh. how time flies. yet i'm not having fun. soon, it'll be the last week of the term and will start on the new term and then exams and then sec four. got this feeling of anxiety as well as fear to face the sec four life.

awesome wednesday.

2010-08-25T22:46:00.002+08:00

i love today.

i love yesterday.

i love monday.

i love teachers' day rehearsals.

i love you.

i love my bass.

i got nothing to do and i am bored. therefore, i wrote a blog post.

school has been okay for the past two/three days.

and it's been two weeks, exactly half a month(15th day) of fasting.

i still am alive, and feeling great.

sometimes, you feel like giving up in life.

but there's always a moment when you found motivation and kept you going.

i don't how, when or what is your motivation but i think that i need some right now.

it's as though i'm in a maze without any exit.

i have no idea.

i shall be a happy person from today onwards.

i was so happy today and i don't even know why.

and i like it when i see others smile with me or back at me.

yeah, so life's good from a different perspective.

i don't know about you, but i think you got to start smiling.

because when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while.

and my eyes are sooooo gonna close anytime soon.

i guess i'll best be on my way out.

nice to meet you, sir.

i guess i'll go.

<3

happening weekend.

2010-08-22T11:08:00.005+08:00

the plan was simple. go to baybeats with Sijia, watch David Choi perform, and go home.

but it turned out even more awesome. we met Trishia and Fayyad along the way. then i decided to stay outside longer. so i decided to walk around in town. walked to Far East first, then went to 313. after which we walked all the way down to the corner of Orchard Road to TAB. waited like some idiot for about fifteen minutes for no apparent reason. and finally went in. i thought i'd leave halfway or head straight home after the performance. instead, i chased him around TAB like the others did just to get my CD autographed and snapped a photo with him. and he was like staring at my shirt for seconds, trying to make out what it said. then when he read it, he gave a smile and thumbs up. i melted. OMG.

conclusion; yesterday was the best Saturday ever spent possibly in my entire life.

well, let's pretty much say i have very little homework left. and i'm going to watch LIKE A BAND and ACTDEUX perform at Marina Bay today. see what happens then. :D

you're so sweet, i got diabetes.
and you're so cute, i can't stop staring.
but where's my answer?
(cont'd)

back from Celebration @ Marina Bay.

was super duper to the max...EMPTY! wtf.
there's like thousand and seven chairs, and even VIP area, but only 1/10 of the set-up chairs are filled. i guess they didn't do a good job in promoting and advertising it. i mean, it's obviously bigger and more exclusive than Baybeats. nonetheless, i enjoyed LIKE A BAND and ACTDEUX performances! awesome possum.

freakishly, i had to rush down to meet with family to break fast. so sorry i had to leave my friends behind. awwwww.

honestly, this is one of the best weekend i've ever spent. not a second wasted. and miraculously, my homework is also done. thank God.

and tomorrow is Monday. bad thought.

on the side note, i am addicted to David Choi's latest album.
wo ai ni.

Super Saturday!

2010-08-21T06:17:00.002+08:00

for the past few days, i've been really drained. the lack of sleep and sometimes insomnia kills me!

but i finally got my full-length sleep yesterday. i slept at 8.30pm. Omg. But the feeling's indescribable.

And yes, i haven't slept since i woke up at 5am. Band's starting soon anyway.

This week have been rather short. But there's way more than many assignments to complete. AND THIS WEEKEND IS SO HAPPENING.

I guess i won't be doing much homework then. ;D

Baybeats anyone?

listen to your heart.
follow your senses.
do what's right.
for two wrongs,
don't make a right.
i really(x5) like you.
and i want you,
to be happy.

angry thursday.

2010-08-19T22:38:00.002+08:00

fuck what i said, it don't mean shit now.

fuck all the presents, might as well throw 'em out.

fuck all those kisses, it didn't mean Jack.

fuck you, you all. i don't want you back.

2010-08-16T21:52:00.003+08:00

A NEUTRON WALKS INTO A BAR AND ORDERED A BEER. WHEN ASKED FOR THE BILL, THE BARTENDER SAID, "FOR YOU, NO CHARGE!" - BIG BANG THEORY

I WANNA GO WATCH DAVID CHOI SO BADLY! ANYONE KIND ENOUGH TO ACCOMPANY ME? PRETTY PLEASE. :D

maybe, just maybe, you're the reason i became so strong.
but for sure you're the reason i can't sleep.
aren't you tired? you've been running through my mind all day!

no, no. this is not called emotional. but if it is, then it is all your fault for not making me happy.

what would you wish for, if you had one chance?
i'd wish for you and i to become us.

i know that you know. so just answer me.

2010-08-15T06:36:00.001+08:00

there's always that one person that will always have your heart.

your endurance, put to test.

2010-08-13T20:29:00.002+08:00

i'm not gonna lie to you. when you're fasting, you think of food and the smell and taste you imagine becomes so real that it makes you drool. i thought of fried maggie just now. but i didn't buy or make any. because i know i wouldn't want to eat anything else after drinking lots of tea.
seriously, it's fun to fast.

you know, when your friends are gone and left you all alone to go with other friends, you always have your family by you. sometimes, i question my own existence. i feel very sad for me, and ever more sad for the people whom are self-centered. they seem to not know what they are doing, where they are heading in life and who they are the ones they can trust. although it is forgivable that they sometimes forget, but all the time? that's simply ridiculous.

i felt angry, sad and happy all at the same time today. i felt confused. but i found my brother and he made me feel all secure and happy because he was somehow there for me. i was grateful to him. he made me realize that friends are not everything, and family is priority. so, although you have been neglected by your friends, there's always your family members to support you all the way through.

i really feel like killing that fella. but, no one is perfect. there's always a bad and good sides of a human being. you just have to accept them, and adapt.

life is too short to regret. one life, live it.

coming back to reality, i'm obviously gonna fail very badly my chemistry test. i have no idea what the test is all about. i didn't even do the MCQ. i did, but i didn't write the answer. so, i didn't do it. and all the calculations and formulas, i didn't memorize at all! how great. i'm gonna cry already.

I LOVE THIS QUOTE:
don't lend money to your friends. it causes amnesia.

i don't know about y'all, but i know about us.

2010-08-12T21:33:00.003+08:00

i'm not gonna lie to you, but seriously, fasting ain't all that bad. i'd like to see it as FUN! indeed, it is!

so, second day of the fasting month just passed. and i feel kinda great. although hunger and thirst are always there killing me. all the devil's fault. when there's a will, there's a way.

but i feel pure.

lucky me, this week hadn't been as hectic.

*news flash* ASSIDUOUS is IN for the Teachers' Day performance! :D excited ttm.

love is only an illusion.

torturous Tuesday.

2010-08-10T18:32:00.002+08:00

currently, the weather is simply killing me! and i start to wonder how i am going to survive tomorrow when fasting kicks in.

i shall:
not lie.
not drink.
not eat.
not play soccer.
not be rude.
not be vulgar.
be patient.
persevere.
fast for a full month.

super excited!
HAPPY FASTING MONTH EVERYBODY. :P

if A likes B, but B likes C, then how is it going to end?

malicious Monday.

2010-08-09T23:29:00.002+08:00

well, i guess today is National Day. so, Happy National Day everybody!

honestly, i think the parade commander for the parade, sucks ttm. and overall, the parade is just boring. i mean, i know it's the same thing but at the very least add a new item or two.

well, it totally don't feel like a National Day for me at all. basically completed almost all assignments today. pretty much left with one or none.

oh. and i bought this cheapo earphones that i have no freaking idea why i bought it in the first place. the sound quality sucks, or rather, it had no sound quality at all! *note to self: never buy cheapo earphones ever again!

reality check, fasting starts on 11/8. that's incredibly fast. i shall go on a food hunt tomorrow and eat all i crave before fasting!

everyday Sunday.

2010-08-08T21:57:00.003+08:00

yes. finally, i played soccer today. it's not as if i hadn't played in years. but it makes a huge difference.

like normal humans do, you get tired after vigorous exercise. so, i took a nap like a freaking pig.

suddenly, i decided to wake up and do a little of homework. and thankfully finished Math.

so, after much discussion mother and i decided to go for a walk&shop. and she wanted to go Causeway Point for whatever reason. being a good son, i followed and accompanied her.

the very first thing she did was...EAT! zomg. i mean, i can't blame her though. she didn't eat the whole day. and i wonder why! wtf. so, she ate, and i ate, coz she told me to, and i was full to the brim.

then, she wanted to walk around and shop. and to Metro we went. amazingly, she didn't buy a thing. i bought my stuff. and she bought something for her beloved husband. cute! then bought food for him and went home.

what an eventful Sunday. thank God for not raining today! :D

reality check, approx. 2 more days to fasting! that's incredibly fast!
and approx. 4 months to the end of this year! MAJOR ZOMG.

OH NO. TOMORROW IS MONDAY! oh wait. it's a holiday!

chessy Saturday.

2010-08-07T23:38:00.002+08:00

i woke up in the morning feeling that it was just going to be an ordinary Saturday. but i was wrong.

it was indeed fun.

went to meet the two majors at KC's McD to initially do the formation and committee thingy. in the end, we ended up eating and not doing anything much productive. then we got bored and cold and went to NP. walked around the mall and found ourselves in Bishan. went to Central to buy loads of Sticky. after that, we went to Vivo to eat a while and rested at the rooftop. we chitted and chatted until we were v bored. after being bored of being bored, we finally went down to look at the happening sales. Topman, Topshop, Forever 21, Pull and Bear, Adidas, Zara, most of the shops are having sale! ZOMG. sooooo tempting! finally, went down to eat dinner and went home.

all in all, we had a band major's outing. what a wonderful day, although not productive.

i think it's a great way to bond, although it may feel a little awkward.

and now, i have another three/two days of holiday. :D

Frightful Friday.

2010-08-06T21:13:00.002+08:00

it's officially holiday now!

my life seems to be revolving around something called band. there's just too much to do in so little time. i mean, who would've known that band could ever be this busy. everyday, something new happens. and today, something new happened to me. but i'm not gonna tell you who, what, where, how, why or when.

anyway, today was a pretty normal day. not much happened. except that i woke up at 5.30am to reach school at 6.30am to rehearse until 7.15am. the parade lasted until 8.15am and after finally finish packing everything, it was 9.00am. went back to class and had recess until 9.30am. WTF. celebrations followed and ended at 11.30am. came back to band at around 4pm until 5.30pm. alumni rehearsal ended at 8.30pm.

fucking shagged ttm please.

nonetheless, there will be a four-day break for all of us. and i have no idea what i'm about to do with myself within these four days, apart from doing homework.

i think life is getting tougher by the second.

Thoughtful Thursday.

2010-08-05T18:58:00.003+08:00

you know, being a man isn't always good. you have to chase the girl, attract her, ask her and treat her good. you basically have to do everything. but the girl on the other hand, just say 'yes' or 'no', boss the guys around and if they're aren't happy, the guy will have the saddest part of his lifetime. after that, we will all learn to move on. sometimes, the girl will realize her mistake and try to get together again. but she often realized it too late. then they go their separate ways and never meet again.

being a leader isn't that great either. you have to lead well, set example for others to follow and technically know almost everything. above all that, you have a big, huge, ginormous, humongous responsibility. everyone will come looking for you for answers. sometimes, you will get punished and blamed for the wrong thing or even worse, the thing that you didn't do!

i know life is tough. it was never made easy. God gave us challenges to overcome for us to grow. and He gave us brains to use. we take many things for granted. we always expect someone or something to happen and help us out of the blue. nevertheless, we all grow up matured.

this week was heaven! i must say, it had been the slackest and greatest week by far. not much homework everyday, even for the long weekend! marvelous. today was simply the best. played soccer to the max, after a few weeks not playing. finally relieved myself! yesterday was not that fun. more tiring that fun. it was an extremely long day. tuesday was rather light. ASSIDUOUS auditioned for the Teachers' Day Concert. hope all is well and hope we get through. uber eggcited! monday was oral. it didn't went well, i must say. i screwed up big time! i didn't explain much, didn't elaborate, didn't develop my points. i basically gave one-lined answers to the examiner, Mdm Nora. it's super informal. i seem to treat the exam as if she's not there and as if we're having a chit-chat. so, from then on i knew it was messed up.

oh, and yes! tomorrow is Friday. i'm starry-eyed. going to have a super looooong weekend!

i once liked you.
it's the truth i'm telling now.
but once you told me all of him.
it was history without a sound.
i shattered right in front of you.
you didn't realize how i felt.
all i hear are angels crying.
to think that i'm sucha a fool.
prolly you weren't the one.
but you look kind of cute.
you're one in a million under the sun.
and i think i've learnt to sit, stay put.
it's okay now.
it's all over.
i'm glad we're good friends.
for i don't know what to do,
if you're not here.

STILL STUCK BETWEEN ETHNIC COSTUME OR CASUAL SMART OR BOTH?!?!?!?!

wonderful Wednesday, not.

2010-08-04T22:18:00.003+08:00

time heals the wound we couldn't close.

blood, sweat and tears dried up, we're okay. we kept marchin' on.

and when i see your face, there's not a thing that i would change.

girl, you're amazing just the way you are.

and when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while.

coz' girl you're amazing just the way you are.

just gonna stand there and watch me burn.

but that's all right, because i like the way it hurts.

just gonna stand there and hear me cry.

that's all right, because i love the way you lie.

you've got body like a coke bottle.

then i step into the dance portal.

i see you in Seattle.

drinking ice and eating popsicle.

but i'm more than just an option.

refuse to be forgotten.

i better find your love.

and i better find your heart.

i'm more than just a number.

i bet you'll find another.

no, i'm not into the 'i like you' business.
diary of.

HAPPY AUGUST DAY.

2010-08-01T11:53:00.003+08:00

i'm extremely happy today and i don't know why.

my happiness is built on others misery. i wonder who is feeling sad.

since my bro had the iPhone 4, my dad has got his iPhone 3G. and guess what? it doesn't work! ZOMG. it has got issues. pity my dad. i bet he doesn't know shit about using iPhone.

anyways, this week had been awesome possum. hadn't been as busy as i thought it would be. and soon it was over! had been jamming with mates for audition that's happening on 3rd Aug. really, really hope that we would get through as it is our first time! *check out the practice video on our youtube channel

things will not always go as how we plan it would be. but i suppose it would teach us a very important lesson that we could learn and apply it to our very lives. you can still go around chasing girls you like, but at the end of the day all you get is a broken heart. but if you take good care of her, perhaps she wouldn't be too harsh on you. all that i need now is a soul that can be as good as gold.

infatuation.crush.love.

i'm stuck on you.

2010-07-27T21:47:00.002+08:00

today was fun ttm, please.

I BOUGHT STICKY. that's major, coz i had to go down to town.

check them out. "sticky.com.sg"

went to outram, then clarke quay, then back to dhoby ghaut, and finally home. painstaking. i enjoyed it though.

i feel like this week has been very slacked. not much homework so far. all there is are overdue ones. i guess God heard our prayers.

thank God.

i still think that my new school shoes are very cool. Vans FTW.

infatuation.crush.love.

#238

2010-07-25T17:24:00.002+08:00

my life is flipped. this weekend is especially fvcked.

so, band had games day yesterday which willingly already drained me out. the day before, i played soccer until i could barely move. then this morning, woke up at eight-thirty to play soccer again. no doubt it's fun but it's the aftermath that i cannot tahan ah. i slept through half the day. and all my plans for the day was gone. nonetheless, what's done is done.

i think school is just going to fast. it's been, uh, four weeks. and i'm still kind of in a mess and unorganized and caught no balls. either that, or i'm just moving way too slow. i have got to shape up. tests are coming in. remedial is being a daily routine.

but i am kind of lazy. what's to come, just let it come.

it was there. then it's gone. whether true or not, i shouldn't have. you should have gone with him.
infatuation.crush.love.

SILVER IS THE NEW COLOUR.

2010-07-22T22:20:00.002+08:00

HOLY CRAP. SIBF WAS JUST 5 HOURS AGO. and now we have it. WE GOT SILVER.

happy ttm. jubilant. delighted. starry-eyed.

the feeling is indescribable.

yeah. after all the blood, sweat and tears we have put in during all our rehearsals, this is the best we could ever get. more importantly, we enjoyed ourselves and learn a thing or two from this.

YAY. no more music rehearsals. now is all on marching. :D

i am technically bored. and too happy to sleep.

infatuation.crush.love.

S'pore Int'l Band Fest.

2010-07-21T20:17:00.003+08:00

approx. twenty more hours to go.

what a shag day.
for once, i was so tired i had no energy to move my body.
luckily there's something called nap.
genius.

i am in misery.
there ain't nobody who can comfort me.
why won't you answer me?
your silence is slowly killing me.

i'm lost without you.
can't help myself.
how does it feel?
to know that i love you, baby.

bye.

infatuation.crush.love.

it's the heart that matters.

2010-07-17T19:31:00.002+08:00

I don't want to say she's my kind

I don't want to say that she's mine

I don't want to tell her

That I love her more than life.

love comes around and knocks you down.
infatuation.crush.love.

15072010.

2010-07-15T20:01:00.002+08:00

every time i look at you,
i get a shot right through
into a bolt of blue.
every time i see you falling,
i get down on my knees and pray.

twenty-fours hours to sixteenth of July.

should i really stop all this nonsense?

there are choices we make in life, either good or bad, that we still have to live with.

we don't choose to be in this world, but we are.

we don't choose to be in love, but we will.

we don't choose what our lives turn out to be, but we live. do i sound emo? i'm not emo la.

i'm emo wannabe. i'm not emo. emo are for gays. therefore, i'm not emo because i'm not gay.

anyways, this week have been a long week and i must say, it's super tiring. remedial after remedial and practice after practice. doesn't it sound familiar?

well, at least this last until the end of next week. then it will get more intense. and more fun for me!

thank God it's the four day of the week already. i always look forward to Friday because i know the weekends are here. and Fridays are the best. simply because the day is short.

help me, baby. i'm stuck between two.
infatuation.crush.love.

baby, i think you're cool. you're cute, sweet and simple. i think i like you.

yesterday was not a good day. today was no better.

2010-07-13T18:30:00.002+08:00

WHO IN MY WHOLE WIDE WORLD LECTURES/NAGS FOR ONE AND A HALF PERIOD?!

but the lecture was super awesome and hilarious. i kept smiling throughout when the others acted serious and sad. wtf.

so today was great and fun. well, not really. i survived two whole periods of English. didn't expect it to turn out that way.

*news flash* i completed the first formation for the band. YAY.

anyways, i planned to go home and four then i ended up going home at five plus. sad.

oh even more yay, tomorrow is P.E. lesson!

so i got nothing to blog about. i'm simply bored.

don't be ashamed to cry.
infatuation.crush.love.

i went crazy baby.

HOT HOT HOT

2010-07-11T16:57:00.005+08:00

sitting at home, with the fan at full speed to fight off the heat. damn. honestly, it's much better when it is raining, provided that the bloody canal don't clog up again. yeah. so, i'm too bored trying to finish off my little homework. i've been thinking whether i should watch the twilight marathon. but it's gay. twilight is gay. i hadn't even watch twilight, then now eclipse is out. wtf. anyways, i love GLEE's song even though i don't watch it. both my brother do, omg. but it's ten million times better than the oh-so-lame-and-gay high school musical. prolly i should start watching that too. but being this busy with school and band doesn't help at all. by the way, soursop juice cleans your intestine until it shines. i had a bad tummy ache from drinking that. i'm so bored, i don't even know what to do. i don't even have anything to blog about. had band yesterday. was super tired from it. SIBF is coming out. should i panic? then after that is preparation for sec one orientation. exciting much? and i have come to the end of my post. oh-thank-God. maybe i should go finish my homework then sleep then wake up at 2.30am to watch the finals, eh? i just watched The A-team. it was awesomely funny. GLEE FTW.

infatuation.crush.love.

FINALYYYYY!

2010-07-09T22:17:00.002+08:00

HERE ARE THE WEEKENDS. And a relaxing one too.

honestly, i think there's just something with July babies.

oh and *news flash*, I've gotten my bass guitar. well, total I've spend on it so far is two-hundred-and-thirty-eight dollars. OH MY GOSH! my bank is having drought!

anyways, life has to go on.

for every second that you lived, be grateful to your family for everything you have.
for every heart that you break, be grateful that you're still alive.

infatuation.crush.love.

if that ain't right.

2010-07-04T11:15:00.003+08:00

What's up world!

feeling damn shagged right now.
had Band yesterday. didn't had much of a sleep.
because on Friday have to view the SYF opening ceremony preview with the committee members.
then I slept late that night.

I think I'm falling sick. But I hope I'm not.
well, many other people are falling sick too. don't blame me.

tell me. should i buy a bass guitar? I've been pondering.

i think i like you.
infatuation.crush.love.

#229. 010710

2010-07-01T19:50:00.002+08:00

Today was totally not a good start of July.

Half of 2010 has gone by in a blink of an eye.

ZOMG! That's fast.

I had Bio remedial today, which totally sucked. (any remedial sucks.) Well, it's only the first week since school re-opens. And yet thousand and one things are happening day in, day out. Homework is as usual. Many, many, many, many, many homework is given everyday. FML.

SO WTF. But look on the bright side of life. In the midst of being busy, we can flip out our hand phones and distress! THANK GOD. Finally, the school have relaxed the rule on mobile phones. However, there's another thousand and seven rules we have to abide.

Actually it's not that bad. Come to think of it, we can bring hand phones to school. Tweet before school, during recess and after school! How 'bout that?

Life has never been so fun in Band. Then tomorrow we have to go to watch THE opening ceremony(?) of SYF? Or GOD knows what that is.

I shall Tweet and non-stop Tweet-ing tomorrow. How 'bout that?

So, I am going off now to do the freaking pile of homework for the day which never seems to satisfy any teacher. Let's hope tomorrow is a better day.

infatuation.crush.love.

Back home!

2010-06-09T19:32:00.003+08:00

I just had a nice warm shower with the fragrant shampoo, body soap, facial wash and some secure doors with a dry towel hung onto it.

Just got back from the Sec 3 Adventure Camp. So much for the name. Honestly, it was quite boring and plain but I still enjoyed it and had fun. That's the most important. The activities were kind of little and short with the unpredictable weather. So, I didn't had the chance to Kayak due to the lightning risk which I was pissed off with. However, the campfire sum it all up. I had lots of fun during campfire. We sang songs, cheers and even dance. All the instructors were hilarious and always telling jokes which made us laughed our asses off! They were all clowns and entertainers. Now the song "Flea fly" is stuck in my head! "Honda, Toyota, Mitsubishi Lancer".

All in all, I miss eating proper food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I miss sleeping on the comfortable bed. I miss the proper shower and proper toiletries. I just miss everything that's proper.

I also miss the 'makan' cheer, the claps, the jokes and the songs! But I'm overwhelmed to be home!

And now, I'm damn shag.

In, out, in, out, white come out. Deep, deep, hard, hard, red come out. What's that? - The most epic joke!

A is for Alpha, we love Alpha.
B is for Bravo, burn them chao ta(?).

WE AREEEEE FREE!
infatuation.crush.love.

i never thought i'd, get a post just like i did.

2010-06-05T14:03:00.002+08:00

What's up world? Another day, another challenge.

Guess what? I took over my brother. Heh. Assistant Drum Major. Honestly, I never expected to get it, but I did. So, I prolly must be crazy and work hard for the rest of my freaking lifespan in band.

Congratulations to everyone with a post. And to those without any, don't be disappointed, you guys are equally important as the rest of us. :D

Anyway, OP'us 2010 was unique in every special way. The Passing Over Ceremony was done in front of the audience and Guest-of-Honour. So, basically the whole world knows who is who in band. Well, I cock-up a lot of pieces because the f*cking fan blew my page over. WTF? I hate that f*cking big ass fan. Such a pain in the ass. No wonder the name!

I seriously got nothing to blog about.

i need you.
infatuation.crush.love.

31st May 2010.

2010-05-31T02:02:00.003+08:00

Happy Belated Birthday to me. It was two days ago.

90 plus people out of 400 plus friends I have on Facebook wished me only. How depressing. Still, i enjoyed it, even though it falls on a band practice day, i had lots of fun and laughter after that. Didn't receive as much present as expected. :P But it didn't bother me much. Heh.

Well, one day before that, went to KL for a day trip. You know, I never thought going to KL was so easy. It feels like going to Vivo City or Town to shop for the whole day then go home at night. That's dope. Anyways, went to KL and bought a shirt and a pants from Topman. Kind of cool. Reached SG at 2 am and slept at 3am. Then woke up at 7 am to go to band. Feeling super tired and almost fell asleep during rehearsal. But it was altogether, fun! After band, went out with family for dinner at Swensens at T2.

In total, I received six presents? Let's see, one from Shuyun, one from Fazlee(bashes), two from Mom, one from Safirah, one from Nazihah, and one from family. Woohoo! Cool.

So, Sunday was pretty boring. Slept alot. Took a two hour nap. Then woke up and eat. Then it's today. There's band practice later on at 1pm. Oh ya, GOODLUCK TO THOSE TAKING 'O' LEVELS! :D Yeah.

So, holidays are here. But as usual, it doesn't feel like the holidays. There are extra lessons to attend to, there are many band rehearsals to attend to, there is dentist appointment to attend to, there is Sec 3 camp to attend to. SEE! So much to do, yet to little time. So much for holidays.

Hey! How about I tell you a story? Here it goes:

I drank the bear's root beer.

He thought my brother drank it, so he choked him.

My eldest brother, came to the rescue by arm wrestling the bear. And we won!
Hahaha. It was meant to be a joke. Laugh!

Anyways, hope you guys enjoy your holidays. I see many people emo and stuff nowadays. It's like, WTF?! We all should live our life happy and stop dwelling over stupid mistakes done in the past. Heh. I sound like a fucktard.

care free.
infatuation.crush.love.