all in the life, me

dear life, you've been well. thank you and keep up the good work. life in school, has been terrible. more terrible than anything else. for the past weeks, i've been buried underneath school work and all those papers preparing me for end-of-year examinations. it was kinda awesome but it was tiring as hell! first of all, i didn't had much rest on sunday coz i simply had to play soccer in the morning when i only had three hours of sleep on that same sunday early morning. then, i procrastinated until dusk and still hadn't had my homework complete. so, i went to school on monday morning feeling dead beat. slithered through somehow. then had a math test on tuesday, which i failed it miserably. k, not so miserable after seeing the results. twelve over twenty-five. just half mark to pass but there's no question to squeeze out from coz i didn't do the rest of it. kinda proud of it though. then came wednesday, which was kinda disappointing coz there's no p.e. but it w...

today is 'break day' from the raya celebration and visiting. super shagged anyway. my grandma is still going visiting. wow. a-maze-ing. (from Grown Ups) HAHA. managed to squeeze out time to do homework. have been procrastinating for the whole day. went to the airport to send off the other grandma and aunt whose going back to Paris. (she actually lives there!). yeah, she's that awesome. moving on, i think i can soon buy an iTouch! but i guess i should invest in that money instead of buying some cheapskate gadget. i've got to admit, it's kinda cool though. you know they say, too much Apple products can make you insane. that's sooooo true! HAHA. yes, i'm happy+sad+worried+disappointed. k, bye.

I know its not your fault, but I’m a locked door. Anytime I’m a mess by someone before and I wish that I, I could find a key to unlock all the things that you want us to be. Let me open up and start again, But there’s a safe around my heart. I don’t know how to let you in, and that’s what keeps us apart. And that’s why I need time. I said I need you, I need you to understand.

yes, so i woke at around six-forty in the morning to prepare for the morning prayers. it's a usual ceremony we do every morning of raya, to pray and be thankful to God. and we also seek forgiveness from our elders and everyone else related. ya, it's kind of a new beginning but it's not the Islamic new year please! so, after the prayer ceremony, went back to grandmother's house to wait for Friday prayer. but my bro and i got bored so we decided to drop by Singapore Expo for the Adidas sale for awhile. it's kind of a five minutes drive from my granny's house. so, we got one and a half hours to take a look. we didn't expect such a huge sale so we thought it'd be chop-chop. but we were wrong. it was kinda mega and the queue took about 20 minutes before you can enter! so we patiently wait. finally got in and walked abit for ten minutes from which i got a shoe and bro got his soccer stuff. jubilant. nuff said. after that shopping, went to Friday prayer then we...

from tomorrow onwards, i'm gonna start eating like a pig! who's with me? :D i'm super happy, with the fact that today is Hari Raya already and i can eat all i want! on top of that, i can has money! :P just kidding. it's still kind of sad though, that the fasting month is over. i bet i'm gonna feel awkward eating breakfast in the morning. and yes, i'm happier now. i have no reason why but i just am. well, that's a good thing right? spring cleaning's been tiring though. and i got a new haircut! i look like Adam Lambert/Marouane Chamakh. yeah. still looks ugly though but who cares! looks like i gotta go back to clean the house. let's see how this raya goes later. ;D up butt coconut. up your butt with a coconut! oh, and Selamat Hari Raya to everyone out there!!

YAYYYY! TWO MORE DAYS TO HARI RAYA! AND TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY OF THE FASTING MONTH!!!!! kind of sad though. :( partly because there's been this argument between my parents and i have no fucking idea what seems to be the problem. must be money. WTF. FML TTM. yeah, so kind of half-hearted to greet the festive season. half happy, half sad. maybe celebrating without my mom. no idea why. so fucking stressed about this!! gah. should i let it pass? my own problems are too small to be concerned with compared to THIS. i simply can't sit and wait for a miracle to happen, but i can't be a busybody and do anything either. i'm fucking confused. but why only this happens nearing the festive season? i mean, there's always way before or way after! but during? damn. my worse fucking nightmare! well, shit happens and life has to go on. i guess i'll have to live day by day. someone hold me tight. i thought something unforgettable is going to happen today. but i guess i was wron...

have you ever felt so rejected in life that you just want to kill yourself? i mean, seeing the person you like not feeling the same and goes away with another? yeah, that's how i feel now. how i wish all of this wasn't true and it was all a dream but it doesn't seem to be that way. once, i gave up. but to think again, i shall hang on for awhile more. i kept waiting and waiting everyday for something to happen but everyday seem to pass empty. and then i start to wonder, why do i even like you? why does this happen? why do i feel this way? why and why and why but i can't seem to find the perfect reason. probably you're just not bothered with me anymore, and maybe i should start doing that too. i mean, there's no point waiting if nothing is ever going to happen right? i kept thinking what would happen if i confess and how you'd react. all my crazy imaginations ain't never going come true, although i wish it did. so, you're this one girl i've fallen ...

life is filled with needs and wants. there's always more wants than needs. and all that you've wanted may not be granted sometimes. but if you're determined to get it, you will work hard for it. and then it will slowly become a need. but then for a need, you may need it at first, but you may come to realize that it's actually a want because you only need it for a short period of time. well, my point is, don't lie to yourself about what you want and what you need because whatever you wish for may not always come true. and that's the truth in life. and i'm saying this because i'm confused if you're a need or a want. jyeah. Sunday was awesome. went to watch Step Up 3. in my opinion, it wasn't that awesome like super awesome. i still think Step Up 2 is better. yeah, but it was still nice and cool and all. i bet there's going to be Step Up 4 or something. i hope not. and i'm getting bored. shit happens, and life has to go on. when will you be ...

today's a cold Sunday. it's rained since in the middle of the night. and i hope there's something fun for me to do today. well, it hasn't been a great start to September and the holidays. i must say, yesterday was quite memorable. nah. shall keep it undisclosed. so yeah. it's been 26 days of fasting now. wow, time flies. apart from that, it's three weeks to EOY. and months before 2011. ain't that just too fast? i was only about to enjoy 2010. well, shit happens and life has to go on.

I'm sittin' here all by myself just tryin' to think of something to do. Tryin' to think of something, anything just to keep me from thinking of you. But you know it's not working out 'cause you're all that's on my mind. One thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself. that you're not the one for me. But the more I think, the less I believe it and the more I want you here with me. You know the holidays are coming up I don't want to spend them alone.

so, past monday and tuesday and it's already mid-week, wednesday. awesome much! nothing much really happened on monday. i went to school totally shagged and hopes that the day would just go by quickly. lessons were pretty much interesting because i didn't had to stay in class for english. and the others just flowed by smoothly, with nothing much productive from each. after school, had the final rehearsal for teachers' day performance for the orchestra. and so one day passed so quickly. then comes tuesday. it's the day i've been looking forward to. reached school at six-thirty in the wee morning sharp. put down my bass and shirt, went down to the underground bandroom to warm-up and rehearse. waited in the hall for about twenty-five minutes before we started off the concert. after that was done in the blink of an eye, rushed to keep the string bass then rushed back to get ready for ASSIDUOUS' item. waited and waited for item after item and it was finally our turn....