all in the life, me

I'd rather be alone than be lonely even when surrounded by friends, i feel kinda lost and lonely with the thought that you are not here with me I don't know what to do with my life anymore there's this heart-sinking feeling everytime i think of you now Sitting here all by myself just trying to think of something to do. I try to think of something, anything just to keep me from thinking of you. But you know it's not working out 'cos you're all that's on my mind. One thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind. And i didn't mean to fall in love. And i didn't mean for this to go as far as it did. And you didn't mean to fall in love but i know you did. Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

that feeling when you miss that one person and she's ignoring you. that feeling when you miss that one person and she doesn't text. that feeling when you miss that one person and she doesn't feel the same about you. that feeling when you miss that one person yet all you can do is just sit and watch them walk pass you like you've never existed. that feeling when you miss that one person after being in love for too long and yet she suddenly backs out due to uncertainty and leave you hanging by a thread. such are the feelings that i feel today. today and only today. i don't even know what's wrong with today. is it because it's a Friday, or is it because i had too much to think lately... today being the start of Summer Test isn't helping at all. i didn't prepare much for GP and MT to be honest. the night before i slept late. few hours before i was fooling around. i don't even know what to take seriously anymore. it feels like as if my life is ...

so yesterday i went out with my parents to make new spectacles for myself but it all turned out bad in the end. I don't even know why i flared at them. honest. all i know was that i was extremely tired from school and all that stress being built up for summer test. I can't bring myself to explain why i was so pissed, or maybe i do but i still can't explain why it happened all of a sudden. I felt bad and sad for my own behaviour. why. why do i do such things to my beloved parents. is this how i repay them...? Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

in short, JC life is taking a toll on me. and it's just been lack of sleep everyday with school dragging for about twelve hours most of the days. it's been happening too fast and too abrupt that everyone can barely handle it. besides, my feelings for my one and only girl ain't making it any better. for late, i feel like i've been distancing myself away from her and kinda ignoring her for no apparent reason. i must be crazy. but what saddens me most is that she doesn't make an effort to try. at least that's what i think. i like emily. i really really do. it doesn't matter at all if we can't be together. i just want to talk to her, be her friend or just even stand by her side for as long as i can. it makes me happy. it just makes my day and my life more complete. the emptiness in my heart is sealed whenever she's around. i always feel happy when i talk to her or see her smile. she's just so beautiful. her personality is outstanding. perfect for me...