it really hurts to see the person whom you once were close with, to be close with another person. that sense of jealousy you get and that feeling of hurt just makes you go crazy. but at the end of the day you can only stand from afar and watch how they progress into a successful relationship without you. it sucks. it just sucks being the bystander. as much as you want to rewind time, it is impossible.
No hugs today. I sent her home with no goodbye hugs. It was meant to be a norm. I don't know what her reason was but it didn't really matter. Although through that, i am starting to suspect something amiss. The topic of the incident (previous post) was brought up again in BK while we were having late dinner. Things she said that i realised: 1) it was my fault to have kept things from her 2) it was my fault that things are worse off now than before 3) it's as though she wants me out I don't know what to infer. I mean as best as i could, i would do everything right and treat her right. But of course, i'm only human that makes mistakes like texting a girl behind her back and still keeps her secrets (what a douche!). I'm sad. I'm utterly disappointed in myself that i wasn't telling her every single thing there could be said. Oh i was damn wrong on that. In recent times, she keeps mentioning names of people who're far better looking than me in schoo...
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