all in the life, me

We always argue. It's always either because of me or you. But yesterday was just bad. I was actually angry. Because i was jealous. Who is that guy to comment such things anyway? Yes i know my girl is pretty and beautiful and it seems harmless to take it as a compliment. But for all you know, he intends to flirt with you. Gtfo. Plus, it's an old picture. That's fucking stalking. She's mine. Yes i'm selfish like that. Nobody can mess with her. But if she messes with somebody else, then i don't know what to say. I tend to get jealous easily. Ohwell, my nature. I can't help it, seriously. Maybe, i should give my mind a rest. Maybe i should disconnect myself from the world for abit. Stay strong guys. ;)

It's not one the days when you feel down anymore. It's that day when you found out how lousy you actually are academically. Today the Physics department called out 14 lowest students in the cohort and had a talk with the HOD. Well i already knew it wasn't good news when i saw my name flashed on the screen. I was never called out for a good thing before. They made me realise that A level is not child's play. That was enough to spoil my mood for the entire week.

Alhamdullilah. I praise Allah for his always forgiving and always loving hands.

It is actually quite saddening to know that you're not good enough in something. It's very bothersome. It just gets into your mind and eat you up. Well at least for me, it works that way. But i guess i have to accept reality that in other's eyes, i'm just of no standard in this sport they play. Watching this match right now makes me reflect how i'm just no good. I'm just sad that my place in the first team is freed up. It seems promising at first but since the last friendly match, i know my position can be replaced. All i ask is to be in the first team and play with my year two friends. Not some bunch of year one freshies.

I'm a fucking emotional wreck right now. I don't know how to feel and even what to feel. It's like life just decided to anal me hard right in the ass. I don't know how to pull this through.

There are  things i've said that i really don't mean and words that sounded harsh but it wasn't meant to be that way. You should know i'm that type of harsh and mean person. I guess you still haven't known me well enough to know all these. Indeed, it isn't my true blue personality. You should know i love you too much to hurt you.

Things i should have never said and done. Still haunts me no matter what.