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20.10.2010

nothing special happens on this very special occasion that happens only once in a lifetime. i'm depressed.

this feeling of jealousy overwhelms me at the speed of light which i can't take control of and it doesn't seem to be slowing down. i can't help but think too much. and i hate myself for doing just that because i know someday, it could end me up in a position real bad that i really do not want to be in. i realised i'm being too complacent. i should back off. however, backing off doesn't really solve the problem either. now i'm stuck. i have absolutely no idea what to do. probably, i should wash my hands off such matter. i have a feeling that's impossible too. can someone explain to me this mixed feeling of anxiety, anger, hate, sad, happy, love, jealousy and disappointment all in one? i can't seem to set my mind straight and thinking again because all that's left inside was you.

why has it always have to be the guys? girls, please take initiative. as much as we want to be the gentlemen, you girls play a crucially important part in the guys' life. it's really not always up to the guys, you know. the guys also want to feel loved back by the girls because the guys are the ones who usually give love to the girls, and somehow the guys feel that they're being used and taken advantage of. i don't know how much you think this whole story is true, but pending that i've heard both side of the story before, i think it's very true and real and quite common. i've heard many such stories before and i often feel that the girls are at fault. not to point fingers though, but every party of that relationship deserves to feel loved at any one point of time.

well, i don't.

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