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jealousy; a disease that kills you from within

sometimes, you need to understand that you just have to take some time off to thoroughly think about things that has happened in your life and things that haven't occur yet. maybe it's now time for me to reorganize my life since it's a crucial year for me and it has already been the fourth week of new year, 2011. i shall start afresh. maybe i'm tired of chasing you already. maybe i should let you go. i believe you won't no longer need me in your life. i was happy you were part of my life and that shall remain as happy memories. but that's that. nothing more. you bring happiness, as well as misery. so i should start becoming less attached to you as before. done. friends; i don't know what to say. i feel like i'm drifting apart from everyone. yes, they're there in front of my eyes but i usually feel that they're not fully there with their heart and soul. well, most of them have changed. some have become more mature, some have just turned worst hooligans. some got a special friend until even the short time spend with the old friend could be neglected. i wonder what's happening to the world. is it really going to end soon. all the signs are showing. it's nerve-wrecking. sometimes, i question myself, if my existence really mean a thing. not that i'm selfish, but i wonder if my friends are true friends. it's as though you got a new toy to play with and you throw the old toys aside. i feel so lost.

k, i shan't go any further. i should update less often.

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