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25 January 2013.

Today, i receieved a reply with no emoji. Though it's not really a first time, i perfectly understood why she did that. I will never forget yesterday night. For the first time in four months, i made her really angry. Yes, she was jealous. She was jealous because i'm close not only to her but to another of our friend. She's only human and she has every right to be jealous. To be honest, i didn't see this coming. I always thought she'd be jealous about Abigail. But i guess this is more extreme. The moment she told me about this, my heart raced. I have never felt more guilty and so depressed in my entire life. My mind went into a trance and basically ready for the worst. I was only and very afraid of her. I was afraid of losing her at that point in time. She never made me feel so scared before. I understand how she feels. I've been there. But i really have no idea how to make this right. The only proper way i can think of is to talk to that friend and get things straight. She won't allow it. I respect that.

In my heart though, i only have one person to blame: myself. Why was i so dumb. I know where i stand because i'm in a relationship and it is just common sense not to be texting or be close with someone else, especially a girl. I wasn't thinking straight. People start talking and we cannot stop that. We can only stop giving them things to talk about. I am so confused right now. I don't know what to do. I have no one to talk to. I only have Allah to aid me in this course that i'm going through. He knows best. Amin.

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